Fact: I have been rejected, replaced and withheld love by many dear people in my life...Those who I trusted.
Therefore, I feel un-worthy, un-loveable, rejected, easily replaced, messed up, abandoned & ugly.
Faith: I am accepted, adored and loved by God's UNFAILING LOVE!
Therefore I have hope!
Just like Naomi in Ruth 1:20 & 21 & 4:14-22. Her fact...she was a widow. Her label/lie she wore b/c...bitterness. Then she embraced faith and wore the label of...favored by God. Something I am learning in my new Bible Study, Me, Myself & Lies.
Hebrews 11:1 - "Now FAITH is being SURE of what we HOPE for and CERTAIN of WHAT WE DO NOT SEE."
2 Corinthians 4:18 - "So we FIX our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is TEMPORARY, but what is unseen is ETERNAL."
We must elevate FAITH over fact & fate. Our faith is the only label we must wear!
Bloggers, yesterday has been the hardest day yet. I am in need of a heart healing, renewed mind, and to be shielded from the enemy NOW! PLEASE interceded in prayer for me! I can't believe I am being so vulnerable. That is so un-like me. But I am desperate and know that only He can save me now! Thank you for bearing with me! May my lessons in this difficult season encourage you now too I hope. I have something to offer and am worth it...I have to keep reminding myself of that. You do too. Just like the countless other children of God in deplorable circumstances. I will not give up! I am strong in Christ and this is only making me stronger!!!!
Monday, January 11, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Prince of Peace
I'm in the mountains of Georgia right now for YL training. Days are long here as we sit in class A LOT. However, we were afforded a small break after lunch today (Ok, so really we're supposed to be in another meeting but I chose to skip) :) and as I sit here, sipping coffee, I am watching it snow. It is so peaceful. It falls so softly, quietly, pure and fresh. It is a call to "Be still and know that He is God. And then He will be exalted above the nations." Psalm 46:10. Peace. Ah, what a weighty word that is. It is something that I haven't felt in a few weeks. As previously posted, my life has been recently turned upside down. Last night I found myself alone on our cabin floor, crying out to God for some peace. I don't even have enough strength to lift my own head and yesterday was a rough day. I miss laughing. BUT TODAY. My circumstance haven't changed. But today, I awoke and decided to choose joy. It is a choice at times and is biblical. So I did just that. I laughed for the first time. And then I got to our theology class and we started it out by watching some of the most depressing movie clips that I have ever seen. Then we sang the old hymn, Man of Sorrows. It was a somber feel. After that our professors stood up to announce that we would in fact be talking about the theology of suffering and the cross today. I laughed. On the day that I chose joy of all things...ha! But so like God, it was beautifully ordained and I felt His peace. Peace. There are so many different meanings to that word. Most of the time we think, as I do, of freshly fallen snow, a river, etc. But it holds so much more meaning than that. As one of my beloved bible study teachers, Beth Moore, taught, Christ's peace rules...it comes with a sword a lot of the times! Yes, that is indeed so true. In this season of my life His peace has truly hit me with a sword...and it has been quite painful. I have yet to be able to see the "forrest through the trees." But today. Today I awoke with a sense of His peace in my heart. As I follow my Savior's journey to the cross, I am reminded that if we truly want to live as His disciples, as salt and light, for the purpose in which He sent us, the resurrected life, then we have to literally die to ourselves-and die daily. It is a cost that most are not willing to pay. Yet I have cried out to want to follow my Savior anywhere, as Peter did. And just as Peter was tested, so God is testing me. That was the question He posed to me this morning in my devotions. "Corrie, will you really take up your cross daily, as you said, and follow me? That is why you are where you are now." And with much fear I responded, "Yes." I used to condemn myself for fear. It isn't of God, I know. His perfect love casts it out. But that's my problem now. I have yet to fully be satisfied in His love for me. I know it, but I don't "KNOW" it yet. I long to know and love Him more than anything else in my life! It's a prayer I know that He will answer. I just pray soon. In the meantime, God assured me today that He does not hold my fear against me. Instead, He reminded me that He is in fact my Emmanuel-God with me. And He is in fact walking this journey with me and loving me just as I am. Many people have promised to love me and never leave, yet they have left and left abruptly. But only God's love is unfailing. Well, after that revelation, I opened the scriptures to the book of Luke, where I have been studying lately. Today I was in chapter 11. Verse 46 stuck out to me, as I am learning how to walk away from the generational sins. As I was praying that I would not be like a pharisee (something that I have been addressing in the book that I am writing), I received a text from one of my sisters. She randomly wanted to apologize for shunning me and withholding love from me when I do things that she doesn't necessarily agree with. She begged me to forgive her b/c apparently she is experiencing the same thing right now from others and knows how horrible it feels. She then committed to just loving me unconditionally. Wow! That meant so much to me! That is another thing that I have been fighting against for awhile now. God is good. He lifts up our head in just the right time. After that I turned to my new Bible study-in which I was learning the importance of meditation. We meditate on so many words that we let define us. That is why it is so important to CONSTANTLY meditate on the truth of scripture. In my bible study it was brought to my attention that we will meditate on lies (for the most part) if not truth. That is what I have done. B/c love has been presented to me so conditionally, I feel very un-loved a lot of the times. Therefore, the words that I subconsciously meditate upon in my head are things like, "no-one loves you, Corrie," "you are un-worthy," etc. But today. Today I was reminded on what I need to meditate upon. So truth is becoming even more so of my serum and healing balm. I finally feel encouraged today. I feel His peace. My circumstances haven't changed and I may still be scared but I know He is near and His "snow" is falling afresh on me right now in so many ways! :) Please keep praying for me blog community. May the Prince of Peace rule in your hearts and minds!
P.S. Sorry if this is jumbled. I am short on time and internet connection and surrounded by way too many distractions. I'm off now to play in the freezing snow a bit before my next meeting. Peace out! :)
P.S. Sorry if this is jumbled. I am short on time and internet connection and surrounded by way too many distractions. I'm off now to play in the freezing snow a bit before my next meeting. Peace out! :)
Friday, January 1, 2010
Security Blankets & Burnt Offerings
Happy 2010 New Year!!!
I don't know about you but I sure am in need of a fresh start! As my last post previously mentioned, I am in a healing process. Jesus has revealed to me many "security blankets" that I have held onto in my life (for a long time now) and is in the process of ripping them all out! It is quite painful. I guess they have been there since I was a little girl. I was the "Linus" of the family. I carried my blanket around loud and proud. It was my security blanket, my constant, my comfort, my companion in the midst of much chaos. I held onto it way too long and wore that thing to shreds. And I guess you could say that the process stuck with me. Like all of us with issues, my wounds of rejection, judgement, withheld love, being ignored, & replacement run deep. And un-beknowest to me, the effects of them have carried through in my life, in my relationships and in almost every avenue-thus drawing me to grab onto false securities. They come in all different shapes and sizes for me too. However, through my growing in Christ I have realized that they they were there but was un-aware of the full hold they had on me. I know Jesus and thought that I was holding onto Him tighter and was OK. I was wrong. A couple of nights ago I held my own "altar of incense" of burt offerings to Jesus. In layman's terms...I burned all that I could of my security blankets. In that ceremony laid a mix of emotions. And then yesterday, at the end of a year, I realized that it was time for me to let go of these things and move on. I hate moving on. It was something I was forced to do way too much when I was little. So I grabbed onto things that I thought would last. All the while I forgot that they were but hay and rubble to be burned up when the winds blew. Only the/my Rock lasts. So yesterday I decided to partake in one more burnt offering-only one that would leave a mark of rememberance. :) I got a tattoo! I have been wanting this tattoo for some time now but never had the design right or felt the right timing. But after much researching I realized yesterday was my day and I did it! YHWH'S with a shepherd's staff attached now mark my right arm and I love it! (Please don't give me your Biblical opinions on tattoos. I have researched it enough and felt free to do it so just worry about the plank in your own eye.) :) Anyways, it means that I am "the Lord's." I got it out of Isaiah. And the Shepherd's staff is symbolic b/c God has seemed to make the 23 Psalm my life verse in SO MANY WAYS. It will constantly remind me just Whose I am-Who defines me-Who is my Rock, my Shepherd, my Hiding Place, my Security, my I AM! Amen! I love it! :) One of my good friend's, Aimee, went with me and was chatting with me as I was getting it (so as to distract from the pain) and she had a great point. I was telling her how this past decade had been so hard. I have felt stuck in pain and un-able to move forward for a decade! I was ready for a new year and a new decade and how appropriate b/c it was 2010 (10!) That's when she pointed out, "God is all about numbers, Corrie. They are symbolic and important to Him." Yes, indeed they are! I forget what the number 10 "represents." If any one on here remembers, please do so enlighten me. Like i know the #7 signifies completion. Anyways, it's 2010, a new year, a new decade. And I pray that this decade is one of mere worship to my King-as my new devotional is themed upon! I am in need of newness. I am in need of letting go of some things and moving on. I don't know what God has in store for me or what "gifts," not "blankets" that He will bring my way. All I know is that I need to just hold on tight to Him alone! And now the tattoo artist knows that of me as well-ha. May it have been a witness! His word does not return void! :) Anyways, my theme verse now: Philippians 3:7-14! And I was also reminded yesterday that In the Beginning, in Genesis 1, when God created the world-He created it out of nothing. It was dark, devoid of life, chaotic and empty. He can do the same for my life! He is our resurrection! Here are some photos of my new tattoo. And also my New Years prayer for us all that I stole from my Proverbs 31 e-devotional. I will now fight the good fight, keep the faith, stand back up, dust off my knees, choose to praise Him, focus on Him and letting Him change ME, and see what He has in store. In God I trust...
A New Year's Prayer for You
1 Jan 2010
Wendy Blight
"All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Me." Matthew 28:18 (NIV)
New Year's Resolutions.
What comes to mind when you hear these three words?
Everywhere you turn the media bombards us with the latest and greatest New Year's Resolution ideas. Diet. Lose Weight. Exercise. Change your look. Change your life. A new year, a new you! Sounds great, doesn't it?
For many years, I made New Year's Resolutions, but I could never keep them. Oh, I succeeded for a few months, but then it was over. I felt worse about myself than I did before the year began because I had failed. So a few years ago, I quit making New Year's Resolutions. Instead, I wrote a prayer. Throughout the year, I watched in amazement as God worked in my life and in t he lives of others through my simple prayer.
Today, I would like to pray for you. As you read this prayer, I invite you to use it as a model for writing out your own New Year's prayer.
Father in heaven, thank You that You are All Authority in heaven and on earth. Thank You that You led each woman here today. You know her every need, her deepest desires, and her hurting places. Lord, as she seeks to know You more, would You open the eyes of her heart to see the wonderful things in Your law?
Father, we confess that so often we live lives that do not honor You. Our actions and our Words seem so far from You. But, we do want to live lives that please You, so we ask today for You to soften our hearts to receive what Your sweet Spirit has to speak to us. Give us a hunger and a thirst for Your Word. As You reveal it to us, help us through the power of Your Holy Spirit to listen and obey. You tell us Your Word is living and active, like a double-edged sword. Father, we invite You to use it now to penetrate the deepest recesses in our hearts.
Give us hearts that desire You and Your Truth above all else. Your Word tells us that if we lack Wisdom, we need only ask and You will give it liberally. So we ask today for a fresh filling of Your Wisdom. Give us the strength to walk in Your Truth, no matter the cost. Guard our hearts and keep our eyes fixed on You. Grow in us the fruit of Your Spirit…those things that will make us more like You. As we study Your Word, fill us and saturate us with more of You!!
Today, Father, we surrender our past and look to the future, thanking You that we are a new creation. No matter what we have done before today, we have Hope in You to take all things and use them for Your good and the good of Your Kingdom. Thank You that You are Faithful. Thank You that we can make our plans but You will direct our steps. We trust in You to do a mighty work in us through us this year and ca rry it on to completion until the day we step into eternity with You.
Lord, we love You. Make our lives a living testimony of Your Love. We ask this in
the powerful and mighty name of Your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord who will do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine. AMEN.
Related Resources:
Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner: The Transforming Power of God's Story by Wendy Blight
The one-year Chronological Bible (NLT)
Visit Wendy's blog-Living Truth to find s teps to help you personalize your prayers
God answers prayers! Read Desperate Prayers, Divine Answers for more encouragement
Application Steps:
Personalize this prayer for you and your own life.
As you do, ask the Lord if there is an area of your life in which you consistently struggle.
If the Lord made you aware of a struggle, surrender that area today. Boldly ask God to speak Truth into this area, no matter the cost. Ask Him to teach you His way, give you a mind to understand, and a heart to obey. Hold fast to what you hear so that your walk in that area will be established and ordered according to His will, not your own.
Reflections:
Read Proverbs 4:20-27, then meditate and reflect on its meaning i n relation to what you have learned through this devotion.
Power Verses:
Hebrews 4:12 "For the Word of God is living and active, sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." (NIV)
2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone and the new has come!" (NIV)
© 2009 by Wendy Blight. All rights reserved.
I don't know about you but I sure am in need of a fresh start! As my last post previously mentioned, I am in a healing process. Jesus has revealed to me many "security blankets" that I have held onto in my life (for a long time now) and is in the process of ripping them all out! It is quite painful. I guess they have been there since I was a little girl. I was the "Linus" of the family. I carried my blanket around loud and proud. It was my security blanket, my constant, my comfort, my companion in the midst of much chaos. I held onto it way too long and wore that thing to shreds. And I guess you could say that the process stuck with me. Like all of us with issues, my wounds of rejection, judgement, withheld love, being ignored, & replacement run deep. And un-beknowest to me, the effects of them have carried through in my life, in my relationships and in almost every avenue-thus drawing me to grab onto false securities. They come in all different shapes and sizes for me too. However, through my growing in Christ I have realized that they they were there but was un-aware of the full hold they had on me. I know Jesus and thought that I was holding onto Him tighter and was OK. I was wrong. A couple of nights ago I held my own "altar of incense" of burt offerings to Jesus. In layman's terms...I burned all that I could of my security blankets. In that ceremony laid a mix of emotions. And then yesterday, at the end of a year, I realized that it was time for me to let go of these things and move on. I hate moving on. It was something I was forced to do way too much when I was little. So I grabbed onto things that I thought would last. All the while I forgot that they were but hay and rubble to be burned up when the winds blew. Only the/my Rock lasts. So yesterday I decided to partake in one more burnt offering-only one that would leave a mark of rememberance. :) I got a tattoo! I have been wanting this tattoo for some time now but never had the design right or felt the right timing. But after much researching I realized yesterday was my day and I did it! YHWH'S with a shepherd's staff attached now mark my right arm and I love it! (Please don't give me your Biblical opinions on tattoos. I have researched it enough and felt free to do it so just worry about the plank in your own eye.) :) Anyways, it means that I am "the Lord's." I got it out of Isaiah. And the Shepherd's staff is symbolic b/c God has seemed to make the 23 Psalm my life verse in SO MANY WAYS. It will constantly remind me just Whose I am-Who defines me-Who is my Rock, my Shepherd, my Hiding Place, my Security, my I AM! Amen! I love it! :) One of my good friend's, Aimee, went with me and was chatting with me as I was getting it (so as to distract from the pain) and she had a great point. I was telling her how this past decade had been so hard. I have felt stuck in pain and un-able to move forward for a decade! I was ready for a new year and a new decade and how appropriate b/c it was 2010 (10!) That's when she pointed out, "God is all about numbers, Corrie. They are symbolic and important to Him." Yes, indeed they are! I forget what the number 10 "represents." If any one on here remembers, please do so enlighten me. Like i know the #7 signifies completion. Anyways, it's 2010, a new year, a new decade. And I pray that this decade is one of mere worship to my King-as my new devotional is themed upon! I am in need of newness. I am in need of letting go of some things and moving on. I don't know what God has in store for me or what "gifts," not "blankets" that He will bring my way. All I know is that I need to just hold on tight to Him alone! And now the tattoo artist knows that of me as well-ha. May it have been a witness! His word does not return void! :) Anyways, my theme verse now: Philippians 3:7-14! And I was also reminded yesterday that In the Beginning, in Genesis 1, when God created the world-He created it out of nothing. It was dark, devoid of life, chaotic and empty. He can do the same for my life! He is our resurrection! Here are some photos of my new tattoo. And also my New Years prayer for us all that I stole from my Proverbs 31 e-devotional. I will now fight the good fight, keep the faith, stand back up, dust off my knees, choose to praise Him, focus on Him and letting Him change ME, and see what He has in store. In God I trust...
A New Year's Prayer for You
1 Jan 2010
Wendy Blight
"All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Me." Matthew 28:18 (NIV)
New Year's Resolutions.
What comes to mind when you hear these three words?
Everywhere you turn the media bombards us with the latest and greatest New Year's Resolution ideas. Diet. Lose Weight. Exercise. Change your look. Change your life. A new year, a new you! Sounds great, doesn't it?
For many years, I made New Year's Resolutions, but I could never keep them. Oh, I succeeded for a few months, but then it was over. I felt worse about myself than I did before the year began because I had failed. So a few years ago, I quit making New Year's Resolutions. Instead, I wrote a prayer. Throughout the year, I watched in amazement as God worked in my life and in t he lives of others through my simple prayer.
Today, I would like to pray for you. As you read this prayer, I invite you to use it as a model for writing out your own New Year's prayer.
Father in heaven, thank You that You are All Authority in heaven and on earth. Thank You that You led each woman here today. You know her every need, her deepest desires, and her hurting places. Lord, as she seeks to know You more, would You open the eyes of her heart to see the wonderful things in Your law?
Father, we confess that so often we live lives that do not honor You. Our actions and our Words seem so far from You. But, we do want to live lives that please You, so we ask today for You to soften our hearts to receive what Your sweet Spirit has to speak to us. Give us a hunger and a thirst for Your Word. As You reveal it to us, help us through the power of Your Holy Spirit to listen and obey. You tell us Your Word is living and active, like a double-edged sword. Father, we invite You to use it now to penetrate the deepest recesses in our hearts.
Give us hearts that desire You and Your Truth above all else. Your Word tells us that if we lack Wisdom, we need only ask and You will give it liberally. So we ask today for a fresh filling of Your Wisdom. Give us the strength to walk in Your Truth, no matter the cost. Guard our hearts and keep our eyes fixed on You. Grow in us the fruit of Your Spirit…those things that will make us more like You. As we study Your Word, fill us and saturate us with more of You!!
Today, Father, we surrender our past and look to the future, thanking You that we are a new creation. No matter what we have done before today, we have Hope in You to take all things and use them for Your good and the good of Your Kingdom. Thank You that You are Faithful. Thank You that we can make our plans but You will direct our steps. We trust in You to do a mighty work in us through us this year and ca rry it on to completion until the day we step into eternity with You.
Lord, we love You. Make our lives a living testimony of Your Love. We ask this in
the powerful and mighty name of Your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord who will do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine. AMEN.
Related Resources:
Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner: The Transforming Power of God's Story by Wendy Blight
The one-year Chronological Bible (NLT)
Visit Wendy's blog-Living Truth to find s teps to help you personalize your prayers
God answers prayers! Read Desperate Prayers, Divine Answers for more encouragement
Application Steps:
Personalize this prayer for you and your own life.
As you do, ask the Lord if there is an area of your life in which you consistently struggle.
If the Lord made you aware of a struggle, surrender that area today. Boldly ask God to speak Truth into this area, no matter the cost. Ask Him to teach you His way, give you a mind to understand, and a heart to obey. Hold fast to what you hear so that your walk in that area will be established and ordered according to His will, not your own.
Reflections:
Read Proverbs 4:20-27, then meditate and reflect on its meaning i n relation to what you have learned through this devotion.
Power Verses:
Hebrews 4:12 "For the Word of God is living and active, sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." (NIV)
2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone and the new has come!" (NIV)
© 2009 by Wendy Blight. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Labels
Have you ever noticed just how enticed we are by labels? If you buy the can or box that says fat free or sugar free, then surely it's guilt-free, right? Or the toothpaste that ensures extra whitening will just in fact make your pearly whites even that more white. Labels draw us in and then we tend to define ourselves by them. I am reminded of the Seinfeld episode where they were eating fat free yogurt and felt so good about themselves, only to later discover that they were packing on the pounds from it. It's a funny one. But that is so us. What people say about us, what we think about ourselves, what lies the enemy throws at us, this we believe to be our reality...and then then scenario poorly plays itself out. We begin "packing on the pounds." What we thought securely defined us ends up being ripped out from underneath us and leaving us worse off than we were before. Or someone may carelessly say, "You kinda have flabby arms," and we are left only to find ourselves now in a full blown eating disorder b/c we must in fact be fat. In this current season that I find myself in I am realizing just how much I have allowed people and lies to define me. It is exhausting. It leaves you with no security when in fact, Jesus is. Just today, when I had some pretty harsh words thrown my way straight from the enemy (you know the kind that confirm all the lies you already think about yourself), I lost it. I thought, surely this must be true...this is who I am. I have cried so hard in the past 3 days that I have given myself a dang sinus infection. And talked about being kicked while I'm already down. The tears began to flow. And then a call came in. I was in a poor state, at a birthday party, and so didn't want to answer but thought that I should. I am glad that I did b/c it was truth that I needed to hear at the moment and I found some hope. Thank you, Tucker! :) As I hung up the phone I found the strength I needed to remind myself that all of us humans are messed up and therefore no-one can define anyone. Then I quickly was reminded just in fact Who I am in Christ. That's what defines us friends! We were bought at a price and His blood defines me. Through it, I/we are: Redeemed, Loved, Sanctified, made whole, made new, cherished, the apple of His eye, pure, etc., etc. Declare those truths and rest in them when the lies tend to be overwhelming! And don't sin through un-belief. With all that said, I'm off now to enjoy my last quiet moments of Christmas. All my family is gone (which is rare.) They are still out at my niece's 5th birthday party (of which I slipped out a bit early b/c as you an tell, I was in no party mood.) Currently I am here sipping some hot tea alone, by the fire, with the Christmas tree lights on, a puppy asleep on my lap, and some peace and quiet with my Savior. Happy New Year bloggy friends! May it be better for us all! I'm in need of a better decade! :) And wear your label as His Redeemed, heiress, child proud! And as another friend reminded me this week, "What if Christ had not come?" Yes, this world is hard...but what if the bible ended in Malachi? Jesus is our hope!!!!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
After Christmas blues...
Forewarning: This is gonna be a kinda depressing blog, sorry.
I hate the day after Christmas every year! KSBJ and 99.1 turn back into normal music, department stores no longer play Christ-filled music thru the Christmas carols (un-beknowest to them), decorations begin to come down, holiday cheer disappears, and the excitement wears off. I hate December 26th! And this year was no different. My usual after Christmas sadness snuck in and then a shocking, unusual, tidal wave of depression blew in. A certain scenario played out and I was left feeling REJECTED...once again. Rejected is a familiar term that I have grown all to accustomed with. And when that feeling comes over me, so does self-pity, un-worthiness, me feeling un-loveable, etc. Satan has a field day! I have learned how to walk victorious over the enemy through Jesus. I have grown a lot. But to be honest, I am weary now and tired of growing. Do you ever feel that way? You get tired of the fight? Tired of Satan coming after the same achilles heel over and over again? I do. That's where I am now. I wonder why did Jesus leave us with all this pain and suffering and under the prince of this dark world? Yes, I know the truth of scripture and I believe. He is in fact Sovereign and has a good plan! He came at Christmas and gave us Him so December 26th is just the beginning. And I know that the victory has been won through Jesus on the cross! But I'm tired now and sad. It won't last long. Healing will come yet again. But in the meantime, the pain is very deep and very real. I feel alone and I long to just leave this world and be with Jesus. No, I'm not suicidal. And I'm not that selfish. I know we are here to be salt and light to a dark and hurting world. I'm not the only one with problems. But I don't feel like a light right now. I'm done venting now. Please pray for me bloggy friends. I am sad. And to end on a cheerier note, here is a devotional that I read this morning. Just what I needed. May it encourage you as it did me. He is near to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. May I feel you now, Jesus!
Arise from the Wreckage
29 Dec 2009
Micca Monda Campbell-Proverbs 31
"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose" Romans 8:28 (KJV)
Recently I had an ah-ha moment as I was reading Acts 9. At first, the familiar story seemed dull. You know how it is when you've read or heard the same story over and over. Then a new revelation merged from the content. In my minds-eye I began to see the word "rejection," although it was not in written form. Perhaps I saw what I was feeling that day—rejected.
I was at the part of the story where Saul, a murderer, had just been transformed into Paul, a disciple of Christ. Even though Paul was a changed person, many rejected him because of his past reputation as a murderer. This was only the beginning of Paul's trouble. Throughout his ministry, Paul not only experienced rejection, but great suffering and harassment too. For a changed man, his adversity seemed unfair.
Paul was devoted to serving Christ. He sacrificed his education, his life, and remained single so he could better serve the Lord. And yet, he was shipwrecked on several occasions, falsely accused, and thrown into prison more than once. Doesn't that seem odd for a man called of God? Wouldn't God's favor protect him from such adversity?
I thought about an illness that lingered with me all summer. It was so severe I was all but bed-ridden for months, unable to do life and ministry. I began to feel rejected by God. It didn't make sense. I was serving God in more ways than I could count. Then, without warning, strong winds blew in. Clouds hung overhead and it began to storm. Before I knew it I was "shipwrecked." You've been there, too.
Some of us have been rejected by family, friends, and co-workers. Others have been falsely accused. Some are imprisoned by finances, or blown around by the consequences of someone else's sin. It seems so unfair. You've tried to live right. You walk in obedience the best you can. You take God at His Word and trust in His promises. Shouldn't faith like this call for smooth sailing, instead of stormy, shipwrecking seas?
Isaiah reminds us that God's ways are not our ways. His thoughts and plans are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8; paraphrased). It's tough to figure God out when He doesn't play by our rules or have the same agenda we have. We forget that God sees a much bigger picture.
If we follow Paul's journey, we find God working through the rejection, the trials, the prison time, and the shipwrecks. God used these hardships to position Paul. Not for fame, but to increase the Kingdom of God. Paul witnessed to the Pharisees through his rejection and imprisonment. People saw God's power at work when Paul survived the st orms, when the snake bite didn't kill him, and when the jail shook, opening the doors and loosing chains. The Lord used these difficulties so others would witness His power and believe.
Paul allowed God to use him as a vessel. He didn't sit on the sidelines, full of self-pity and doubt. Instead, as Acts 16:22-31 tells us, after being stripped, beaten, severely flogged, thrown in the inner cell of a prison and his feet in stocks, Paul prayed and sang hymns to God. Others around him were listening. The power of God came in such a way, that the prison guard begged Paul to tell him, "What must I do to be saved?" He replied, "Believe in the Lord Jesus" (NIV).
God doesn't waste our pain, our rejection or our "shipwrecks." He uses them to bring about His plan—to position us so that others can see His transforming power at work in our lives and believe in the living God.
If that's true, and it is, then our challenge is to rise from the wreckage, like Paul, so tha t our lives will give testimony that draws others to the Master. Today I will no longer sit on the sidelines of life full of self-pity. I choose to rise, pray and praise, so that God can position me to shine for His glory, and so that others will believe.
Dear Lord, forgive me for wallowing in self-pity and rejection. I trust that You see the bigger picture. I believe there is a purpose for my pain. Strengthen me to rise from my ashes so that others will see You are my help and my salvation. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Application Steps:
God has called us to live by faith, not by sight. Even though we don't always understand our difficulties, they don't have to overwhelm us. Choosing to trust God helps restore a sense of hope and stability to our lives, and also allows us to rise from our ashes.
Reflections:
What will you choose to do today: will you wallow in self-pity or rise and praise the Lord?
Power Verses:
Nahum 1:7, "The Lord is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him." (KJV)
Psalm 121:1-2, "I will lift up my eyes to the hills—From whence comes my help? My help comes from the LORD, Who made heaven and earth." (NKJV)
And, don't laugh at me, but a song from the Jonas Brothers that my nieces and nephew gave me to encourage me:
A Little Bit Longer (You Don't Even Know) lyrics
Got the news today.
Doctor said i had to stay
A little bit longer and i'll be fine
When i thought it'd all be done
When I thought it'd all been said
A little bit longer and I'll be fine
But you don't know what you got 'til it's gone
And you don't know what it's like to feel so low
And everytime you smile you laugh you glow
You don't even know, no, no.
You don't even know
All this time goes by
Still no reason why
A little bit longer and I'll be fine.
Waitin' on the cure
But none of them are sure
A little bit longer and I'll be fine
But you dont know what you got 'til it's gone
You dont know what its like to feel so low.
And everytime you smile you laugh you glow
You dont even know, no, no.
You dont even know, no, no.
And you don't know what you got 'til it's gone.
And you Don't know what it's like to feel so low, yeah!
And everytime you smile or laugh you glow,
You dont even know! yeah! oh!
You don't even no
So I'll wait 'til kingdom come.
All the highs and lows are gone.
A little bit longer and I'll be fine.
I'll be...fine
God, I hope so!
I hate the day after Christmas every year! KSBJ and 99.1 turn back into normal music, department stores no longer play Christ-filled music thru the Christmas carols (un-beknowest to them), decorations begin to come down, holiday cheer disappears, and the excitement wears off. I hate December 26th! And this year was no different. My usual after Christmas sadness snuck in and then a shocking, unusual, tidal wave of depression blew in. A certain scenario played out and I was left feeling REJECTED...once again. Rejected is a familiar term that I have grown all to accustomed with. And when that feeling comes over me, so does self-pity, un-worthiness, me feeling un-loveable, etc. Satan has a field day! I have learned how to walk victorious over the enemy through Jesus. I have grown a lot. But to be honest, I am weary now and tired of growing. Do you ever feel that way? You get tired of the fight? Tired of Satan coming after the same achilles heel over and over again? I do. That's where I am now. I wonder why did Jesus leave us with all this pain and suffering and under the prince of this dark world? Yes, I know the truth of scripture and I believe. He is in fact Sovereign and has a good plan! He came at Christmas and gave us Him so December 26th is just the beginning. And I know that the victory has been won through Jesus on the cross! But I'm tired now and sad. It won't last long. Healing will come yet again. But in the meantime, the pain is very deep and very real. I feel alone and I long to just leave this world and be with Jesus. No, I'm not suicidal. And I'm not that selfish. I know we are here to be salt and light to a dark and hurting world. I'm not the only one with problems. But I don't feel like a light right now. I'm done venting now. Please pray for me bloggy friends. I am sad. And to end on a cheerier note, here is a devotional that I read this morning. Just what I needed. May it encourage you as it did me. He is near to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. May I feel you now, Jesus!
Arise from the Wreckage
29 Dec 2009
Micca Monda Campbell-Proverbs 31
"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose" Romans 8:28 (KJV)
Recently I had an ah-ha moment as I was reading Acts 9. At first, the familiar story seemed dull. You know how it is when you've read or heard the same story over and over. Then a new revelation merged from the content. In my minds-eye I began to see the word "rejection," although it was not in written form. Perhaps I saw what I was feeling that day—rejected.
I was at the part of the story where Saul, a murderer, had just been transformed into Paul, a disciple of Christ. Even though Paul was a changed person, many rejected him because of his past reputation as a murderer. This was only the beginning of Paul's trouble. Throughout his ministry, Paul not only experienced rejection, but great suffering and harassment too. For a changed man, his adversity seemed unfair.
Paul was devoted to serving Christ. He sacrificed his education, his life, and remained single so he could better serve the Lord. And yet, he was shipwrecked on several occasions, falsely accused, and thrown into prison more than once. Doesn't that seem odd for a man called of God? Wouldn't God's favor protect him from such adversity?
I thought about an illness that lingered with me all summer. It was so severe I was all but bed-ridden for months, unable to do life and ministry. I began to feel rejected by God. It didn't make sense. I was serving God in more ways than I could count. Then, without warning, strong winds blew in. Clouds hung overhead and it began to storm. Before I knew it I was "shipwrecked." You've been there, too.
Some of us have been rejected by family, friends, and co-workers. Others have been falsely accused. Some are imprisoned by finances, or blown around by the consequences of someone else's sin. It seems so unfair. You've tried to live right. You walk in obedience the best you can. You take God at His Word and trust in His promises. Shouldn't faith like this call for smooth sailing, instead of stormy, shipwrecking seas?
Isaiah reminds us that God's ways are not our ways. His thoughts and plans are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8; paraphrased). It's tough to figure God out when He doesn't play by our rules or have the same agenda we have. We forget that God sees a much bigger picture.
If we follow Paul's journey, we find God working through the rejection, the trials, the prison time, and the shipwrecks. God used these hardships to position Paul. Not for fame, but to increase the Kingdom of God. Paul witnessed to the Pharisees through his rejection and imprisonment. People saw God's power at work when Paul survived the st orms, when the snake bite didn't kill him, and when the jail shook, opening the doors and loosing chains. The Lord used these difficulties so others would witness His power and believe.
Paul allowed God to use him as a vessel. He didn't sit on the sidelines, full of self-pity and doubt. Instead, as Acts 16:22-31 tells us, after being stripped, beaten, severely flogged, thrown in the inner cell of a prison and his feet in stocks, Paul prayed and sang hymns to God. Others around him were listening. The power of God came in such a way, that the prison guard begged Paul to tell him, "What must I do to be saved?" He replied, "Believe in the Lord Jesus" (NIV).
God doesn't waste our pain, our rejection or our "shipwrecks." He uses them to bring about His plan—to position us so that others can see His transforming power at work in our lives and believe in the living God.
If that's true, and it is, then our challenge is to rise from the wreckage, like Paul, so tha t our lives will give testimony that draws others to the Master. Today I will no longer sit on the sidelines of life full of self-pity. I choose to rise, pray and praise, so that God can position me to shine for His glory, and so that others will believe.
Dear Lord, forgive me for wallowing in self-pity and rejection. I trust that You see the bigger picture. I believe there is a purpose for my pain. Strengthen me to rise from my ashes so that others will see You are my help and my salvation. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Application Steps:
God has called us to live by faith, not by sight. Even though we don't always understand our difficulties, they don't have to overwhelm us. Choosing to trust God helps restore a sense of hope and stability to our lives, and also allows us to rise from our ashes.
Reflections:
What will you choose to do today: will you wallow in self-pity or rise and praise the Lord?
Power Verses:
Nahum 1:7, "The Lord is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him." (KJV)
Psalm 121:1-2, "I will lift up my eyes to the hills—From whence comes my help? My help comes from the LORD, Who made heaven and earth." (NKJV)
And, don't laugh at me, but a song from the Jonas Brothers that my nieces and nephew gave me to encourage me:
A Little Bit Longer (You Don't Even Know) lyrics
Got the news today.
Doctor said i had to stay
A little bit longer and i'll be fine
When i thought it'd all be done
When I thought it'd all been said
A little bit longer and I'll be fine
But you don't know what you got 'til it's gone
And you don't know what it's like to feel so low
And everytime you smile you laugh you glow
You don't even know, no, no.
You don't even know
All this time goes by
Still no reason why
A little bit longer and I'll be fine.
Waitin' on the cure
But none of them are sure
A little bit longer and I'll be fine
But you dont know what you got 'til it's gone
You dont know what its like to feel so low.
And everytime you smile you laugh you glow
You dont even know, no, no.
You dont even know, no, no.
And you don't know what you got 'til it's gone.
And you Don't know what it's like to feel so low, yeah!
And everytime you smile or laugh you glow,
You dont even know! yeah! oh!
You don't even no
So I'll wait 'til kingdom come.
All the highs and lows are gone.
A little bit longer and I'll be fine.
I'll be...fine
God, I hope so!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
On this Christmas eve...
I have been busy this Christmas season. Busy: taking care of my sick gpa, writing a book and "getting my plunder" :), and with my work in the ministry. However, this Christmas eve is a peaceful one. At my home tonight: there's awesome Christmas movies playing, the twinkle lights are all plugged in, my Christmas scents are sprayed and burning, my cooking & baking are done, the family has been visited, horrible eating has been had, Christmas PJ's (like from the Christmas story) :) are ready to be wore, my dogs are all tuckered out, and I am now awaiting church and Christmas morning tomorrow. But most importantly, I am reflecting on Galatians 4:4-7. There are such profound truths in that tiny chunk of scripture!...God's perfect timing; how God REDEEMED us (ransomed us) from the empty way of slavery life handed down to us by our forefathers-that we might receive the FULL rights of his children, and therefore we can cry out DADDY to GOD, and also be an HEIR!!!! WOW!!!! He was born to die for us! Oh thank you, Jesus that you care! Happy Birthday, Jesus! And Merry Christmas friends! :)
Friday, December 4, 2009
It's SNOWING in Texas again! :)
As I was leaving my house last night I bent down to kiss my 4 year old niece (Abi) good-bye, when she proceeded to say, "CC, You know it's gonna snow tomorrow?" To which I said, "Yea, I hope so!" To which she replied, "No, it is. God told me so. He has told me everyday this week." I couldn't help but smile and then I prayed that He would let it snow for her....instead of thanking God that it will. What little faith we have! Jesus Himself declared that we must have faith like a child. I want that! It has indeed snowed today and it has been glorious! In fact, as I type now I am watching real snow fall out my window and it is so very peaceful and beautiful. When I woke up this morning I looked out my window and saw it falling. It was quiet, peaceful, majestic, beautiful and pure. And then I gazed up at my blinds and saw the paper snowflakes that I had made. We don't get much snow in texas so I had made some paper snowflakes for my window a few days ago. You know, imitating one of my favorite movies, Elf. :) I looked up at those, then looked out my window at the real thing. And then it hit me...how often do we make our own imitations of "snow" ("life") when God offers us the real thing. We just don't trust Him that His way is better. My pastor is teaching on Genesis currently and a few weeks ago, as he was preaching on the ark and Noah, he stated, "We need to stop climbing through windows when God shuts doors. And we need to walk through His open doors in faith." Boy do I ever "climb through windows" out of sheer fear. Last night I was talking to my best friend on the phone when she begin to confide in me about some problems in her marriage. Nothing earth shattering. She loves her husband but he just hasn't offered her much of life. You see, as John Eldredge puts it, men long for an adventure, a beauty to rescue, life. Where as we women long to be rescued. Nothing wrong with that truth. Problem is, unless men allow God to be there adventure and women allow Him to be our rescuer, we are in big trouble. My friend's husband is currently just focused on projects to be his adventure and you can understand the problems that therein now lie. We were created for eternal life, yet we aren't satisfied with the life giver. We don't seem to trust Him. We are too busy making fake paper snow flakes while the real stuff falls just outside our window. Why can't we be more like my niece? And then when it snows, go outside and just enjoy it? I don't have all the answers. But I was reminded today through my devotional over Psalm 31 and the snow, that He does and He has a plan. For now, until it's all figured out, I'm just going to enjoy the snow and you should too! I see 2 pair of love bird cardinals out my window doing just that thing. And I can hear my niece declaring out loud to her self, "Hellelujah, Jesus!" Amen! :) Happy snow day! :)
"But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, "You are my God." My times are in your hands; deliver me from my enemies and from those who pursue me. Let your face shine on your servant; save me in your unfailing love." Psalm 31:14-16
"But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, "You are my God." My times are in your hands; deliver me from my enemies and from those who pursue me. Let your face shine on your servant; save me in your unfailing love." Psalm 31:14-16
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