Birth Pains

All I have been doing these past few days is moving and it stinks! I did most of it by myself. I can assure you of this, if you are looking for a good workout, grab a box, fill it with heavy weights, and then carry it around and then up 3 flights of stairs like over 100 times. My whole body is in pain but it hurts so good! :) A few friends did step up to help me though and I am very grateful for them. Last night was my first night in my new place. It was weird. I have been in my pool house for almost 10 years now and I am a creature of habit. I woke up this morning wondering if I made the right decision. People have been yelling at me to move out of my parent's pool house for years. I haven been wanting to move out for years. But as I said previously, due to a host of reasons why, I haven't. I never had enough money, then I thought that I was going to get married, and then I was afraid that I just couldn't do it. But I finally took a step of faith and did. I really felt that this decision was of God, despite the opposition from my parents. But ever since I signed the dotted line, there has been nothing but opposition. First of all, the apartment complex decided to work on my balcony (to make it "look nicer") and it won't be done under construction for like 2 more months. Then I found out my place was infested with fleas but they weren't gonna fix it b/c they said that I brought them in. Ha. I assure you that I don't have fleas and I hadn't even moved in my animals (which don't have them either) or anything else in yet. So they stalled me on moving in. Once they finally decided to fix the problem, they said that the fleas wouldn't be completely gone until like 1 month and I couldn't move anything in for awhile. I have so many animals that I don't want to get fleas but we had to go in there....aahh. On top of all that, my dishwasher, dryer, and garbage disposal weren't working. But that finally got fixed...Praise God. Then, as previously stated, no friends stepped up to help me. I tell you this much, you find out who your true friends are in times like this. I was so down about it. I thought, "I help so many, why is no one helping me?" But Jesus reminded me, "I did not come to be served but to serve little one. You do as Me." "Ok, I'll just keep serving regardless. You're right, Jesus." But many thanks to the Parks', Steven, Aimee & Reeder who helped me...thank you so much...esp. you, Kristen and Steven!!! This whole process has been overwhelming!!! I am now on such a budget that I couldn't even buy contact paper for my drawers...Kristen had to buy it for me. Ha. :) Thanks again, friend! Amiss all the chaos, I have had to be at ballet recitals, graduations, graduation parties, baptisms, weddings, baby showers, etc. It's been crazy! So that brings me to today...

Last night was my first night in my new place for me and my animals. As I said before, it was weird. My animals had no clue where they were and pets like sameness. Linus kept barking at every car and person that walked by. I have to hoof it up and down 3 flights of stairs for potty breaks. I can't walk around due to all the boxes everywhere. I no longer have direct tv and internet (free things I had at home but can now no longer afford this luxury...and I work from home when not out with kids.) And I already found fleas on my poor dogs now. :( The list could go on and on but I will spare you my whining. WITH ALL THAT SAID...Obviously I was complaining to God this morning and wondering if I made the right decision. "Can I just see Your hand of favor in one thing, God...if this is of You?," I cried out. That's when I loaded up my dogs, took a break from un-packing, and decided to head to my parents for some free wi-fi and to water my plants. After dropping my dogs off, I headed to my dad's office for my weekly cleaning of it. While there I listened to my church on radio (too much to do to go today, sadly.) I tell you what, God spoke a word to me. SInce it's around Memorial Day a Marine shared a brief testimony. Thank yall for all you do!!! Anyways, one thing he said really hit me. He said, "it takes birth pains to lead to freedom." And after all the pain that he went through, he wondered what it was all for. Then one day, Iraqi kids were kissing his burned cheeks and thanking him and that's when he heard God whisper, "This is what it was for." After his testimony, the sermon was about Jacob wrestling with God and then receiving restoration. A good and timely word for me. That is what my 10 yr old nephew prayed over my new place a few days ago (he's so sweet.) That my new place would be a place of peace, fun and restoration for me. Amen! I felt encouraged and chose to praise.

So, I am still "wrestling," and look forward to seeing what all of these minor irritation were for. But until then, I know that life is full of irritations, it doesn't mean that we are not in HIs will. I choose to trust in Him and lean not on my own understanding and He will make my paths straight! Please pray for me. Freedom is on it's way...but right now, I am in birth pains. Pictures coming soon. I'm off to be busy, busy. Thank you, Jesus, that You are my Shepherd and in You I have everything that I could need or want! I'm officially in my first own place now...