Expectations...

Hello, my name is Corrie and I am an over-expector. There you have it. In total contrast to my last post, the Holidays ended up not turning out so jolly for me after all. Don't get me wrong, in pure Corrie fashion, I had everything ready to go and as I last stated, was just anticipating and ready to enjoy all that is "Christmas." But pretty soon all I began to find were the thorns among the roses.

It started out when an old YL kid and I found a puppy abandoned on the side of the road. He appeared to be a very tiny, male, chocolate lab. Well, if you know me at all, then you know that I LOVE animals...esp. puppies, so this should have been a true Christmas gift. That's what I thought at first. My YL friend couldn't keep him, my husband had been wanting a bigger dog, no one else was claiming him, and it turned out that I had a vet appt. already scheduled the next day for one one of my other dogs, so this seemed perfect! All checked out pretty well at the vet and so then it was off to Petsmart to buy all the puppy essentials and some food for him. I decided to name him Franklin even...to match my Peanuts gallery theme that I have going on over here. At the time, my holidays were looking great! Then it began to all go downhill...

Let's just say that Franklin is pretty high maintenance. I have been around all sorts of dogs all my life but never a lab. This little man is crazy! My little, loveable, grouch of a maltese, Linus, hates him so I am constantly refereeing fights. He pees NON-STOP, cries ALL THE TIME, destroys EVERYTHING, and he has more energy than any dog I have ever seen. People keep telling me that labs are rowdy puppies but great adult dogs. Well, I am losing patience in this puppy stage. Let's just say that I now have 2 babies...Lillie and Franklin...and that my friends, is A LOT of work. God bless you moms of multiples out there! My holidays had now become a rat race between my baby, Franklin, house duties, wife duties, normal holiday stresses (mostly finances), mom duties, other peoples needs, and my other already full house of 5 other animals! All I was doing was meeting needs ALL DAY LONG and in the process my own health failed. It was about Christmas eve that both Lillie and I seemed to catch a cold that decided to linger (among every one else in Houston right about now during this CRAZY weather!) On top of that, Steven worked Christmas, and that was just stinky. Then came all of the friends and family that were in town that I had to and also wanted to see, but with that brought in town family leaving me with pity parties b/c we could not "hang out with them over the holidays too." Ugh! Long story short, I lost all of my pictures on my old phone (which had documented Lillie's life so far) b/c I got a new phone so that too has been a pain. New Year's eve now hits, Steven is working again and I come down with the flu. Perfect! On my way home from my parents, in search of bed for Lillie and I, the police dept. calls to say that my house alarm has been going off and I am heading home to go to sleep all by myself. I turned around, asked my dad to follow me home, and he came in with his gun ready to shoot somebody. Never found any signs of any one intruding but still doesn't leave you with the safest feeling ever. I was on the verge of laughter or tears...couldn't decide, but I had to get my now 2 babies to bed and my now sick self. I felt awful. I spent the next few days curled up in bed as Steven took off to help with Lillie. I was very grateful for my husband's help and the much needed rest, but for those of you who are married you probably can relate when I say that pretty much all Steven was able to do was play with Lillie. When I felt well enough to get out bed, the house was a MESS. And it had already looked like Disney had thrown up in it b/c of all of the toys that people completely spoiled Lillie with for Christmas. And as I write all of this, Franklin just peed for about the 3rd time in the kitchen. Oh dear...hahaha! All that to say...

Today is the first day that my husband went back to work and I am starting to feel better and am all alone. I prayed for God to have grace today and so far he has. :) But I realized something in the quiet of my soul...I am an over expector and that just leads to sheer disappointment. Nothing or no one can ever be perfect this side of heaven, and I try so hard for perfect. There, I admit it. It's a blessing and a curse. On one hand, I can manage to work really hard at things and get a lot done. Hence being ready for Christmas early. On the other hand, I can also be more of a Martha than a Mary and find myself constantly disappointed that I or others aren't doing things as good as we should. Hence, not enjoying Christmas this year AT ALL. Bottom line, I must just look to Jesus. In the words of Linus, from my favorite Peanuts, "Isn't that what Christmas is all about anyways?" I had turned into Charlie Brown, in all of his gloom and lost sight of all that really matters...Jesus! Good thing He knocked me down with the flu though so I could get a little break! :) So for all of you over expectors out there, do yourself and others a favor and let yourself and others off of the hook before the holidays up and leave and you find that you never got a chance to enjoy them.

I'll post some Christmas, Franklin and Lillie pictures later. In the meantime, Happy New Year, Friends!!! In lieu of resolutions (thats too stressful for a girl like me), I always pick a name of God that I hold near and dear that year and I can always see how that threads through my life that year when I look back. So this year I picked, Love. Oh that Steven, Lillie and I may come to love Him with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength this year and love our neighbor as ourselves! And that other Christians would finally stand up and do the same.