Fall

I woke up this morning to walk my dogs and discovered that it was half way decent outside as a bit of cool air brushed past me. It made me smile. Then I realized that it was pretty much fall! Fall is my absolute favorite time of year! If I could make a trip out to New England every time at this time of year, I would. I did it before with my bestie, Hanna, and it was amazing! Although we don't get it so much here, I love the fall leaves, apple orchards, crisp air, festivals, etc. The best I get here is a relief from the summer scorching humidity and that the Pumpkin Spice Lattes are back at Starbucks...my Fav's!!!! Can I get an amen please? :) They are so delightfully yummy! Try one as served, or my way: Triple, grande, non-fat, 2 pump, pumpkin spice latte with no whip but extra foam. High maintenance I tell you but so worth it. And if possible, hit up Maria at the Starbucks by the Ulta and Baybrook Mall. The absolute best. Ok, now that I am off my coffee speech, I will continue. Fall. I love fall! :) Perhaps it's because that even in death, there is still beauty. I found that statement profound enough that after I wrote it, I made it bold...ha. Feel free to quote me. But I probably stole that from someone else along the way. :) (Side note: I am now able to share my inspirations with you b/c I finally got internet yesterday! Woop-woop!) Ok, may my ADD self get it together. :) Anyways, the fall leaves (my fav) are perfect examples of beauty from death. As they die, they turn amazing shades of red, orange & yellow before they fall. And even though they die, it's only so new life may arise in just a short awhile. It's as Jesus said, "anyone who wants to TRULY live, must die to themselves." However, death is a hard process. It hurts. But it's so worth it. All I know is that even if it's painful, I don't want to be the same. I want to live! And if so, I must die. I have been having to die to myself a lot here recently. Die to a dream of how I want something to be, but can't force it to be. But it has been such a maturing process for me. I have realized that, as Max Lucado says, "If I want to go on with Jesus, the way goes through Gethsemane, through the city gate, and on 'outside the camp.' The way is lonely and goes on until there is no longer even a trace of a footprint to follow-but only the voice saying, 'Follow Me.'" Luke 22:28 also states, "You are those who have continued with Me in my trials." I want to continue with Jesus! Unfortunately, lots of times it's through trials. The way of the Kingdom can get lonely and hard, as Jesus Himself knew, but in it is life and beauty equally. My "fall colors" of beauty amist death right now are my fiance, Steven and the fact that I get to marry him soon-ministry with my YL kids-and sharing my joyous engagement with my loved ones. The rest is hard. But soon enough the death will be over and new life will appear! Hopefully and appropriately when my wedding is...which just happens to fall in the Spring! Jesus is so cool like that! :) That being said, the date is now set: March 19, 2011! (significant enough for some boldness too!) :) Things are finally starting to come together and I am so happy! :)
In conclusion, don't be afraid to die to yourself. For when you do, life is just right around the corner! Take some time today though to enjoy your "fall leaves" amist the pain. It's worth it. Like I, and Rocky, always say, "Nothing good ever comes easy!" :) I feel peace today and it feels good. Aaahh...
I love you.

Checking In...

Well, I'm starting to bring my head up from above water and my life is getting back to somewhat of a routine now. I like things that way. I thrive on "Organized Chaos." :) YL started back in full swing for me this week and I honestly couldn't be more excited about this year! I have no clue what to expect though. We're meeting at a new place, I've added new leaders, and another new school has been added to my area as well! But I'm excited for the group of kids we have and my new team! Take it Jesus!

On top of that, I also start training to become a Christian Counselor for the next few months. It's through an organization called Elijah House Prayer Ministries. I heard about them through my church years ago and have been meeting with one of their counselors myself for a few years now. I'm excited about this new tranistion. If I could plan my life (we'll see what God wants), I'd quit working for YL and just volunteer, stay at home with my children (that I yet to have) :) and do this counseling ministry at home (as my counselor does)-hopefully partnering with YL. I also want to write a book. We shall see.

On top of that, I am also planning my Spring Wedding!:) I could not be more excited, but it is stressful. There is in fact a lot on my plate right now...every night is full! But nothing good ever comes easy, right? I have no clue what this next summer holds for me, but that is what my fall and spring look like! Things certainly do drastically change in just a year! But walking with God is like that. He is full of surprises and life with Him is one big, faith-filled, wild ride! So I'm buckling in this semester! And if you're looking for something to read, Radical, by David Platt, A 40 day journey with Deidrich Bonhoeffer, and of course the Word itself is grounding me and something I suggest. Feel free to send a prayer my way. I'm off now for some much needed time with my fiance (still wierd to say!) :)

A LOT to catch up on...

Ok, it's been awhile and there is a lot to catch up on, so I'm just gonna go in brief order. First things first, as previously stated, my summer has been CRAZY!!! There has been some great times...as you will see in all the pictures at the end of this post! :) For example...

Since moving, I am able to entertain YL folk a lot more and I love it! We've had some fun girl times!

Wilderness was AMAZING, as usual! Seriously, I am in love with my whole group! That place is the reality of Jesus and the few pics could not describe the Majesty, beauty, and sweet richness in community! Praise Jesus!

However, for over 2 weeks after Wilderness I had no car and I have no internet so I was trapped (hence no post.) It was very confining! Therefore I ran a lot and sweated to death (all the while my apartment ac went out 2 more times...ha.) My car just kept going down hill and then my mechanic broke my engine (no lie!) But after a chain of miraculous events, I finally got a new car! It's not my dream car by any means, doesn't really "suit" me, and I really miss my xterra, but it's new, reliable, was a great deal and starting to grow on me! :) Another praise!

My neices and nephew continue to make me fall more and more in love with them! Joshua is now in 5th grade and in football again currently. Grace is now in 4th grade and turning into a beautiful, young lady. And Abi has now started kindergarten and gymnastics and is hillarious!

My man, Steven just graduated from college and is now right back in school training to be a fire fighter. I am proud!

But what's most exciting....

I JUST GOT ENGAGED LAST NIGHT...FINALLY!!!!!! YAY!!!!! :) Praise, praise, praise Jesus! I love you, Steven! And I love my ring! Can't wait to marry you!

Wedding probably in March. I will keep you posted. Gotta head to a baby shower now. Check out the pics! Sorry all so jumbled. Miss you! Jesus and I love you! :)

Update :)

Well, it's been one busy, crazy summer, but I thought that I'd grab a quick moment to update you on my life via picks. So far, I have settled into my new apartment; kept busy at the YL office with my 2, awesome, college interns; enjoyed fourth of July with family and Steven; witnessed my family participate in their first sprint tri and I was so proud of them; taught a girls bible study to amazing, college aged, YL leaders in our area; trained some new YL leaders; spent time with YL kids; braved the heat in my broken AC car; and most recently...enjoyed a week away in beautiful Colorado with my awesome YL kids...all the while my amazing Steven stayed at my place watching my sweet babies for me! I leave again soon for another trip to Colorado with YL kids...back packing in the mountains! I will write as soon as I settle. Pray for us please and enjoy some pics and this hot summer! :)

Grace

I lay there half asleep and it was as if I heard strong voices overhead. I just knew that He was there. My Victorious Warrior singing over me with shouts of joy! It made me smile. As I woke up, He gently took my hand and led me to the closet where I slipped on my royal robe. After all, I am His Princess. But I couldn’t bear for Him to place the tiara on my head this morning. The guilt ran too deep. “I don’t deserve Your loving-kindness. I don’t understand Your grace. The fleas and such suit me better, Jesus. That is what I deserve and what I’m used too,” I cried out. But He wouldn’t let me escape. He kept shouting the word, “Grace” over me…over and over again. “It is a kindness, child. My grace lets you know where you once stood and where you now stand. And seeing the difference, you are to bow down in humble gratitude at the greatness of your on-going salvation. Don’t deny me the pure joy of granting you My grace.” My Jesus kept speaking as I made some coffee (so as better to hear Him) and after that I sat down to enter into my Bible study with Him. I love my new Ruth Bible study. Today Ruth met Boaz and He bestowed such kindness and grace towards her. I began to long for a husband like that. And that’s when He stepped back in. “No, Princess. You need not long for a Boaz…You already have one…Me. I am Your: Protector, Strength, Healer, your Man who longs to do immeasurable more than all you could ask or even imagine- as I bestow my kindness and grace upon you.” It was as if scales fell from my eyes. A concept I knew all along but one that ran deep this morning. I do deserve the fleas and such. But b/c of HIS grace and kindness, I get the tiara. And He bestows it upon me with joy! An exchange needs to be made in my heart. So today, I put on my tiara and walk forth to my destiny. And no princess must encounter fleas. I can’t wait to see what my God is going to do to my enemies. No princess of His will wear fleas…. ☺ “Stand Firm, Child, and see the deliverance that I will bring you today! The Egyptians you will see no more!” Amen!

Romans 5:1-8

Hope is on the way...

Once a week my pastor sends out an e-mail to us members informing us on what he will be talking about that Sunday. We have been in the book of Genesis for some time now and I love it! As I've said in my past few posts, recently we have been studying Joseph and it has been speaking to me in my current crappy season. I have felt less "picked on" by God as I study Joseph's life. However, as my circumstances continue to crumble, I still haven't seen much hope. But today, my pastor said the following in his e-mail...

"Joseph stood strong when faced with temptation from his master's wife. Based on her accusations alone, Joseph was thrown into jail. No trial. No jury. No opportunity to share his side of the story.

Maybe you've found yourself in a situation similar to Joseph's. It may not have involved sexual temptation or false accusations, but you ended up down-and-out just the same. For some reason, you lost favor in the eyes of those around you. You were cast aside or passed over for no good reason.

This Sunday, as this complicated story continues, we'll see a case of divine intervention and redemption as Joseph rises from the pit to a place of honor and respect. His story is evidence of God's desire to restore us as only He can, and of His faithfulness to do so. Do you trust that He can do the same for you?"

Hello...What a word! Praise You, Lord! I pray restoration is on it's way for me! God is good! I trust God!!! Do you?

Update

Since my last post, the compressor on my car AC has gone out and will cost $700 to repair (as well as other repairs), they forgot to re-bomb my flea infested apartment so I still have fleas (although I did the vaccate and cleaning hassle prior...for nothing), and I just found out that YL in my area is 1 month away from being in defecit due to donors not giving as promised. I feel so defeated! I know that those out there struggle too so I write all this in hopes to encourage you with some encouragement that I have received in this tough time. As previously mentioned, I had to spend the past few days at home and therefore was around my neices and nephew a lot. You can learn a lot from children. One evening, after giving Abi her bath, I was giving her lotion, brushing her hair and helping to dress her when I thought...God wants to take care of me just as an adult has to help take care of Abi...every detail. I just need to trust and remind myself that He is for me. And then I walked out into the kitchen to find Grace crying that she couldn't have dessert or watch one of her favorite shows. She is on much needed restriction right now and it is killing her. My sister was talking to her about starving her flesh and feeding her Spirit and is able to monitor her to help her do just as such. Without my sister, my neice would crumble. That too hit me. Right now, I need to trust Jesus and feed my Spirit, not my grumbling flesh. Without HIm, I would crumble. And in the meantime, it's OK to be bummed, but I must cry out to Him alone. So I am. Friends, I'm sure that Job (from the Bible) had no clue at the time why all the drama in his life. But that book in the Bible helps so many of us now and look at the ending. I hope to bring God glory in this and find a better ending soon! Life is complicated, but our God is faithful! Today I choose to stand, starve, praise and trust! :) Hope you do too! We are not forgotten!