In these last days...

This past year has been probably the toughest year of my entire life! I have encountered many painful losses, lessons and changes. However, in the midst of it, and in some ways, I have truly learned what it is like to consider myself worthy to suffer like Christ. A constant theme that God has been stirring in my heart all year has been, "You must live for the Kingdom of God, not the Kingdom of this world." I have found that He has also been stirring this same theme in a few, close friends of mine as well. The Sermon on the Mount has come alive to me in ways that Jesus radically intended it too for all of us. And as I learn these things in this season of my life, I have also noticed a "trend" amongst many in the body of Christ as well..."The End Times." So many Christians are fixated on it...on how bad our world is getting. To some extent, I agree with them. But what I feel that they are missing out on, as they focus on Christ's 2nd coming, is focusing on His 1st coming as well and simply telling others about that. After all, isn't that what we are here for anyways? The Bible itself states that yes, times will be tough in the last days, HOWEVER, God will pour forth His Spirit beyond measure on Believers and there will also be a mighty outpouring of that as well. So as I couple the trend amongst my small group of friends and myself, and the one amongst many believers today, I deduct this...we are possibly headed quickly in towards the end times, but for the Christians who choose to actually live for the Kingdom of God and not the Kingdom of this world, a MIGHTY outpouring of His Holy Spirit is going to take place and it will be miraculous! Amen! I have already begun to see this take place. Far too long all of us Christians have been living lukewarm, for ourselves, including myself. But it is time now that God is going to separate the "sheep from the goats." What side do you want? I can tell you this much...living for the Kingdom of God is HARD, but so worth it. I can testify and will now with a quick story...
It was about a year ago today that this painful season took place in my life. God ripped me away from many things, ripped many people away, stripped me of my reputation, etc. I made some poor choices, other people made some poor choices, and we were all wildly hurt. Yet, in the midst of it all, God was right there waiting to graciously teach me some things and lead me to live radically for Him. I was faced with many decisions to be made, and the ones that I was making were not popular to the "world" at all. However, I just knew that I needed to make them and stick with them, despite the persecution. And I did. I was very mis-understood. I encountered a lot of painful losses, including of my own reputation. One choice was in a difference of relationships. Although very painful, I wasn't married or even engaged so I did not understand all the fuss of my decision. Nonetheless, people had a lot of opinions. I'm not saying that I handled it correctly. I surely did not. But I chose what God wanted for me, despite public opinion. This choice did not make sense to me, or to anybody else. But I just knew that it was God's choice. Although I was already a believer, it was the beginning of my undoing from living for the Kingdom of this world towards the Kingdom of God. A lot of painful things occurred after this decision was made and at times, when it got really hard, I wondered if I made the right one. However, all along the way, God kept re-assuring me that I did. The world was just not sure of it yet and singing me a different tune that was hard to hear. Months went by, and as previously stated, painful lessons were learned and losses occurred. However, I just knew that God wanted this for me. I had just yet to see why and that is when the doubts in my waiting period occurred. Like the Israelites, they were in bondage for so long. Then they were finally freed and promised a land flowing with milk and honey. However, they were asked to walk by faith, not sight. And many times they would lose their patience and make some poor choices. I felt like I was there. But God was calling me to patiently endure. So I did. Not perfectly though. And that is when "it" happened. A few days ago, I finally saw, not just knew, why living for the Kingdom of God vs. the Kingdom of this world pays off. God showed me just "why" He wanted me to pick this other relationship and all the other stuff that surrounded it. Although I am obviously not afraid to be real, this story is just too long and personal to go into. But I will say this, after this choice, my ex has found the one whom he is about to marry and so have I. And as I study up on God's idea of marriage, I have learned that marriage is beyond what we or the world thinks that we need. It a couple, signing up for war, but having each other to lean on in the midst of it. Just as salvation is the same thing. I don't know the details of my ex's new relationship/engagement. All I know is that they seem to "fit" more than he and I did and I am happy for him. But I can say for my new relationship...although not engaged yet, it will happen soon and I now know why God wanted us for each other. I have found myself a "David," who God wants me to partner with in these last days. It is for His Kingdom, not this world's or mine agenda. And I am so happy! You see, living for the Kingdom of God is radical, hard, un-like popular opinion, but it's full of blessings, joy and peace, and it changes this dark world. God has given me Steven David to live in these last days with and I have already gotten to taste what partnering with him for God's Kingdom agenda looks like. Now I know "why!" Ministering with Him and seeing people be changed is worth it all! We are not here for ourselves! Thank you, Jesus for 2 warriors now (You and Steven!) I love you both!
Friends, in these last days, choose the Kingdom of God! It is hard but so worth it...trust me! :) The Holy Spirit truly is the greatest high there is! All in God's timing will engagement pictures be on here... :) In the meantime, go and read the Beatitudes...