Sunday, May 30, 2010

Birth Pains

All I have been doing these past few days is moving and it stinks! I did most of it by myself. I can assure you of this, if you are looking for a good workout, grab a box, fill it with heavy weights, and then carry it around and then up 3 flights of stairs like over 100 times. My whole body is in pain but it hurts so good! :) A few friends did step up to help me though and I am very grateful for them. Last night was my first night in my new place. It was weird. I have been in my pool house for almost 10 years now and I am a creature of habit. I woke up this morning wondering if I made the right decision. People have been yelling at me to move out of my parent's pool house for years. I haven been wanting to move out for years. But as I said previously, due to a host of reasons why, I haven't. I never had enough money, then I thought that I was going to get married, and then I was afraid that I just couldn't do it. But I finally took a step of faith and did. I really felt that this decision was of God, despite the opposition from my parents. But ever since I signed the dotted line, there has been nothing but opposition. First of all, the apartment complex decided to work on my balcony (to make it "look nicer") and it won't be done under construction for like 2 more months. Then I found out my place was infested with fleas but they weren't gonna fix it b/c they said that I brought them in. Ha. I assure you that I don't have fleas and I hadn't even moved in my animals (which don't have them either) or anything else in yet. So they stalled me on moving in. Once they finally decided to fix the problem, they said that the fleas wouldn't be completely gone until like 1 month and I couldn't move anything in for awhile. I have so many animals that I don't want to get fleas but we had to go in there....aahh. On top of all that, my dishwasher, dryer, and garbage disposal weren't working. But that finally got fixed...Praise God. Then, as previously stated, no friends stepped up to help me. I tell you this much, you find out who your true friends are in times like this. I was so down about it. I thought, "I help so many, why is no one helping me?" But Jesus reminded me, "I did not come to be served but to serve little one. You do as Me." "Ok, I'll just keep serving regardless. You're right, Jesus." But many thanks to the Parks', Steven, Aimee & Reeder who helped me...thank you so much...esp. you, Kristen and Steven!!! This whole process has been overwhelming!!! I am now on such a budget that I couldn't even buy contact paper for my drawers...Kristen had to buy it for me. Ha. :) Thanks again, friend! Amiss all the chaos, I have had to be at ballet recitals, graduations, graduation parties, baptisms, weddings, baby showers, etc. It's been crazy! So that brings me to today...

Last night was my first night in my new place for me and my animals. As I said before, it was weird. My animals had no clue where they were and pets like sameness. Linus kept barking at every car and person that walked by. I have to hoof it up and down 3 flights of stairs for potty breaks. I can't walk around due to all the boxes everywhere. I no longer have direct tv and internet (free things I had at home but can now no longer afford this luxury...and I work from home when not out with kids.) And I already found fleas on my poor dogs now. :( The list could go on and on but I will spare you my whining. WITH ALL THAT SAID...Obviously I was complaining to God this morning and wondering if I made the right decision. "Can I just see Your hand of favor in one thing, God...if this is of You?," I cried out. That's when I loaded up my dogs, took a break from un-packing, and decided to head to my parents for some free wi-fi and to water my plants. After dropping my dogs off, I headed to my dad's office for my weekly cleaning of it. While there I listened to my church on radio (too much to do to go today, sadly.) I tell you what, God spoke a word to me. SInce it's around Memorial Day a Marine shared a brief testimony. Thank yall for all you do!!! Anyways, one thing he said really hit me. He said, "it takes birth pains to lead to freedom." And after all the pain that he went through, he wondered what it was all for. Then one day, Iraqi kids were kissing his burned cheeks and thanking him and that's when he heard God whisper, "This is what it was for." After his testimony, the sermon was about Jacob wrestling with God and then receiving restoration. A good and timely word for me. That is what my 10 yr old nephew prayed over my new place a few days ago (he's so sweet.) That my new place would be a place of peace, fun and restoration for me. Amen! I felt encouraged and chose to praise.

So, I am still "wrestling," and look forward to seeing what all of these minor irritation were for. But until then, I know that life is full of irritations, it doesn't mean that we are not in HIs will. I choose to trust in Him and lean not on my own understanding and He will make my paths straight! Please pray for me. Freedom is on it's way...but right now, I am in birth pains. Pictures coming soon. I'm off to be busy, busy. Thank you, Jesus, that You are my Shepherd and in You I have everything that I could need or want! I'm officially in my first own place now...

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Moving on up...


Well, it's official....as of today I am signed to a 12 month lease on an apartment! I know, I am 30 and this is the 1st time that I am on my own. I could give a list of reasons as to why, but all that matters is that God said, "Now," I heeded the call, I'm taking a step of faith, and I am moving out on Wednesday! I'll be going from this about 600 sq ft tiny pool house in my parents backyard to 818 sq ft...woo-hoo...haha! :) If any of you are free this next weekend, please feel free to come and help me move! But seriously, pray for me in my new endeavor. I am scared yet so excited! I have been grateful for this free, little home and yard that accompanies it, but I am ready to see what God has in store for me...

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

In these last days...

This past year has been probably the toughest year of my entire life! I have encountered many painful losses, lessons and changes. However, in the midst of it, and in some ways, I have truly learned what it is like to consider myself worthy to suffer like Christ. A constant theme that God has been stirring in my heart all year has been, "You must live for the Kingdom of God, not the Kingdom of this world." I have found that He has also been stirring this same theme in a few, close friends of mine as well. The Sermon on the Mount has come alive to me in ways that Jesus radically intended it too for all of us. And as I learn these things in this season of my life, I have also noticed a "trend" amongst many in the body of Christ as well..."The End Times." So many Christians are fixated on it...on how bad our world is getting. To some extent, I agree with them. But what I feel that they are missing out on, as they focus on Christ's 2nd coming, is focusing on His 1st coming as well and simply telling others about that. After all, isn't that what we are here for anyways? The Bible itself states that yes, times will be tough in the last days, HOWEVER, God will pour forth His Spirit beyond measure on Believers and there will also be a mighty outpouring of that as well. So as I couple the trend amongst my small group of friends and myself, and the one amongst many believers today, I deduct this...we are possibly headed quickly in towards the end times, but for the Christians who choose to actually live for the Kingdom of God and not the Kingdom of this world, a MIGHTY outpouring of His Holy Spirit is going to take place and it will be miraculous! Amen! I have already begun to see this take place. Far too long all of us Christians have been living lukewarm, for ourselves, including myself. But it is time now that God is going to separate the "sheep from the goats." What side do you want? I can tell you this much...living for the Kingdom of God is HARD, but so worth it. I can testify and will now with a quick story...
It was about a year ago today that this painful season took place in my life. God ripped me away from many things, ripped many people away, stripped me of my reputation, etc. I made some poor choices, other people made some poor choices, and we were all wildly hurt. Yet, in the midst of it all, God was right there waiting to graciously teach me some things and lead me to live radically for Him. I was faced with many decisions to be made, and the ones that I was making were not popular to the "world" at all. However, I just knew that I needed to make them and stick with them, despite the persecution. And I did. I was very mis-understood. I encountered a lot of painful losses, including of my own reputation. One choice was in a difference of relationships. Although very painful, I wasn't married or even engaged so I did not understand all the fuss of my decision. Nonetheless, people had a lot of opinions. I'm not saying that I handled it correctly. I surely did not. But I chose what God wanted for me, despite public opinion. This choice did not make sense to me, or to anybody else. But I just knew that it was God's choice. Although I was already a believer, it was the beginning of my undoing from living for the Kingdom of this world towards the Kingdom of God. A lot of painful things occurred after this decision was made and at times, when it got really hard, I wondered if I made the right one. However, all along the way, God kept re-assuring me that I did. The world was just not sure of it yet and singing me a different tune that was hard to hear. Months went by, and as previously stated, painful lessons were learned and losses occurred. However, I just knew that God wanted this for me. I had just yet to see why and that is when the doubts in my waiting period occurred. Like the Israelites, they were in bondage for so long. Then they were finally freed and promised a land flowing with milk and honey. However, they were asked to walk by faith, not sight. And many times they would lose their patience and make some poor choices. I felt like I was there. But God was calling me to patiently endure. So I did. Not perfectly though. And that is when "it" happened. A few days ago, I finally saw, not just knew, why living for the Kingdom of God vs. the Kingdom of this world pays off. God showed me just "why" He wanted me to pick this other relationship and all the other stuff that surrounded it. Although I am obviously not afraid to be real, this story is just too long and personal to go into. But I will say this, after this choice, my ex has found the one whom he is about to marry and so have I. And as I study up on God's idea of marriage, I have learned that marriage is beyond what we or the world thinks that we need. It a couple, signing up for war, but having each other to lean on in the midst of it. Just as salvation is the same thing. I don't know the details of my ex's new relationship/engagement. All I know is that they seem to "fit" more than he and I did and I am happy for him. But I can say for my new relationship...although not engaged yet, it will happen soon and I now know why God wanted us for each other. I have found myself a "David," who God wants me to partner with in these last days. It is for His Kingdom, not this world's or mine agenda. And I am so happy! You see, living for the Kingdom of God is radical, hard, un-like popular opinion, but it's full of blessings, joy and peace, and it changes this dark world. God has given me Steven David to live in these last days with and I have already gotten to taste what partnering with him for God's Kingdom agenda looks like. Now I know "why!" Ministering with Him and seeing people be changed is worth it all! We are not here for ourselves! Thank you, Jesus for 2 warriors now (You and Steven!) I love you both!
Friends, in these last days, choose the Kingdom of God! It is hard but so worth it...trust me! :) The Holy Spirit truly is the greatest high there is! All in God's timing will engagement pictures be on here... :) In the meantime, go and read the Beatitudes...

Thursday, May 13, 2010

My life now..

Here is a letter that I am about to send out to my Young Life donors and prayer warriors and wanted to share with you guys as well. This is an update on my life of sorts. Enjoy!

MISSIONS BEYOND AFRICA-5/13/2010
A couple of years ago I went on a mission trip to help aids orphans in Zambia, Africa. I raised over $3,000 in just 2 weeks for that trip. It was an amazing opportunity that I will forever be grateful for. However, recently it has made me ponder the giving that is sent my way in YL. I heeded God’s call on my life (to be on missions) when I was a Sr. in High School. At that time, I too believed that to be a missionary you must go overseas. But over the years I realized that is not entirely true. Jesus Himself didn’t go beyond only several miles from His own home. Yet, I see people be so quick to give to someone going overseas for a 10 day mission trip, verses someone who has decided to live their life on missions. And don’t get me wrong, as a missionary with Young Life, I hate asking for money. But unfortunately, that’s what missionaries have to do, and that’s what Jesus told us to do. I too support many missionaries myself. With that being said, I want to try and clarify what I am trying to say, with a quick story.

Just yesterday I sat with a college age girl over coffee and was blown away by how far she has come in her life. This girl was in my YL group and three years ago I sat beside her at her mom’s kitchen table and held her as she cried. She had just found out that she had gotten herpes and another STD from one of her many partners. She was only 16. We talked about how God wants to be the main man in her life and she cried even more about how it’s hard for her to believe that b/c even her own father didn’t care for her. He is an alcoholic who abandoned her. And her own mother didn’t portray the right lifestyle for her teen daughter either. This 16-year-old girl was in pain and all her friends either encouraged her to be promiscuous or disowned her for doing so. A few months later I talked her into going to camp and it was there that she accepted Christ. The next year was a rough road for her as she struggled in between 2 lifestyles. But she was hungry and we kept meeting. And all this brings me to yesterday. A couple years later and this young girl is home, from college, for the summer and she and I were meeting to discuss her role as an YL summer intern for me. She then whipped out her journal and bible from her purse and proceeded to share with me all that she is learning from Jesus. She was beaming. She shared how she is a Young Lives leader in Austin (YL to High School girls with babies) and how perfect she fits there. And then she shared how she is in a relationship with a guy who, for the first time, prays with her instead of takes advantage of her. She even wept over her lost friends. I walked away from our coffee date praising God for how far this girl has come. And then it hit me, when I went to Africa, I spent just a few days telling these little kids about the God that loves them and hugged them. But then I left. Don’t get me wrong, that’s better than nothing. It was a privilege. But then I left them in the same situation as before, with no one to walk this hard road with them. But with this former YL kid, not only did I get to tell her about Jesus, but also I got to walk the hard road with her and watch a transformation, which wouldn’t have taken place without discipleship. That is more of missions to me than my trip to Africa. A week in a foreign country, loving on kids for a short time is easy. The long haul, everyday is the hard part. Will you help me continue to go on missions right in your back door? These kids need you. I need you. Being in YL is a mission. Will you partner with me? Our area is in need of $25,000 to do “all that we need to do”, to keep me on staff, to hire more staff, to continue to get kids to camp, and for kids to hear the Gospel and be discipled. This young girl is even helping us financially. According to her, “YL changed my life. I want to help change others with Jesus too!” Please keep praying as well. Prayer is our main need and our camping season is right around the corner…
Thank you for your time,
Corrie Cline ☺