Wednesday, June 23, 2010


I lay there half asleep and it was as if I heard strong voices overhead. I just knew that He was there. My Victorious Warrior singing over me with shouts of joy! It made me smile. As I woke up, He gently took my hand and led me to the closet where I slipped on my royal robe. After all, I am His Princess. But I couldn’t bear for Him to place the tiara on my head this morning. The guilt ran too deep. “I don’t deserve Your loving-kindness. I don’t understand Your grace. The fleas and such suit me better, Jesus. That is what I deserve and what I’m used too,” I cried out. But He wouldn’t let me escape. He kept shouting the word, “Grace” over me…over and over again. “It is a kindness, child. My grace lets you know where you once stood and where you now stand. And seeing the difference, you are to bow down in humble gratitude at the greatness of your on-going salvation. Don’t deny me the pure joy of granting you My grace.” My Jesus kept speaking as I made some coffee (so as better to hear Him) and after that I sat down to enter into my Bible study with Him. I love my new Ruth Bible study. Today Ruth met Boaz and He bestowed such kindness and grace towards her. I began to long for a husband like that. And that’s when He stepped back in. “No, Princess. You need not long for a Boaz…You already have one…Me. I am Your: Protector, Strength, Healer, your Man who longs to do immeasurable more than all you could ask or even imagine- as I bestow my kindness and grace upon you.” It was as if scales fell from my eyes. A concept I knew all along but one that ran deep this morning. I do deserve the fleas and such. But b/c of HIS grace and kindness, I get the tiara. And He bestows it upon me with joy! An exchange needs to be made in my heart. So today, I put on my tiara and walk forth to my destiny. And no princess must encounter fleas. I can’t wait to see what my God is going to do to my enemies. No princess of His will wear fleas…. ☺ “Stand Firm, Child, and see the deliverance that I will bring you today! The Egyptians you will see no more!” Amen!

Romans 5:1-8

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Hope is on the way...

Once a week my pastor sends out an e-mail to us members informing us on what he will be talking about that Sunday. We have been in the book of Genesis for some time now and I love it! As I've said in my past few posts, recently we have been studying Joseph and it has been speaking to me in my current crappy season. I have felt less "picked on" by God as I study Joseph's life. However, as my circumstances continue to crumble, I still haven't seen much hope. But today, my pastor said the following in his e-mail...

"Joseph stood strong when faced with temptation from his master's wife. Based on her accusations alone, Joseph was thrown into jail. No trial. No jury. No opportunity to share his side of the story.

Maybe you've found yourself in a situation similar to Joseph's. It may not have involved sexual temptation or false accusations, but you ended up down-and-out just the same. For some reason, you lost favor in the eyes of those around you. You were cast aside or passed over for no good reason.

This Sunday, as this complicated story continues, we'll see a case of divine intervention and redemption as Joseph rises from the pit to a place of honor and respect. His story is evidence of God's desire to restore us as only He can, and of His faithfulness to do so. Do you trust that He can do the same for you?"

Hello...What a word! Praise You, Lord! I pray restoration is on it's way for me! God is good! I trust God!!! Do you?

Wednesday, June 16, 2010


Since my last post, the compressor on my car AC has gone out and will cost $700 to repair (as well as other repairs), they forgot to re-bomb my flea infested apartment so I still have fleas (although I did the vaccate and cleaning hassle prior...for nothing), and I just found out that YL in my area is 1 month away from being in defecit due to donors not giving as promised. I feel so defeated! I know that those out there struggle too so I write all this in hopes to encourage you with some encouragement that I have received in this tough time. As previously mentioned, I had to spend the past few days at home and therefore was around my neices and nephew a lot. You can learn a lot from children. One evening, after giving Abi her bath, I was giving her lotion, brushing her hair and helping to dress her when I thought...God wants to take care of me just as an adult has to help take care of Abi...every detail. I just need to trust and remind myself that He is for me. And then I walked out into the kitchen to find Grace crying that she couldn't have dessert or watch one of her favorite shows. She is on much needed restriction right now and it is killing her. My sister was talking to her about starving her flesh and feeding her Spirit and is able to monitor her to help her do just as such. Without my sister, my neice would crumble. That too hit me. Right now, I need to trust Jesus and feed my Spirit, not my grumbling flesh. Without HIm, I would crumble. And in the meantime, it's OK to be bummed, but I must cry out to Him alone. So I am. Friends, I'm sure that Job (from the Bible) had no clue at the time why all the drama in his life. But that book in the Bible helps so many of us now and look at the ending. I hope to bring God glory in this and find a better ending soon! Life is complicated, but our God is faithful! Today I choose to stand, starve, praise and trust! :) Hope you do too! We are not forgotten!

Monday, June 14, 2010


I went away on Saturday for a nice day on Lake Livingston with Steven and his family. I got to do one of my favorite things which is to swim and ride jet skiis! :) I returned home, however, to a boiling hot apartment and a broken AC. I therefore decided to pack up my dogs and we headed to my parents (at midnight no less) so that we could actually sleep and not sweat to death. I proceeded to start my car and come to find wouldn't start. 3x and no luck! A few days ago I heard it making a noise when I was trying to start it and I was with my boss, Haddad at the time. He said I should hope that it was just a battery problem b/c that would be the cheapest solution. So upon his advice, I headed to Advanced Auto Parts and they tested my battery and it was bad. I had no money to pay for a new one and no warranty on it; However, by the grace of God, and my charm :), they replaced it for free. I was happy! But now a day later (and with a new battery), and my car wouldn't start. Aaahhh! After a few tries it finally started, but it sounded like it was dying. I drove straight home and fell right asleep on my parents couch with Linus & Lucy. The next day (Sunday) I remembered that they were re-bombing my apt for the fleas (on Monday) and I had to have all of my animals cleared out of there. My dad suggested I no longer drive my car and no auto stores are open on Sunday's so I borrowed his and headed to round up my bird, Woodstock, and my cat, Sally. I survived the heat, got them all packed up, then headed back to my parents. I had nothing to do there and I hate being bored! The next day (today) my dad took me to drop my car off to find out what was wrong with it. It was the starter and it's going to cost over $400! Hello! They also suggested that I get a tune-up, new fan belt, etc. b/c my car is old, over 112,000 miles and in need of it. That extra bit would cost me $900. Um, no. After finding that out I checked the Kelly Blue Book Value (great tool) on my car. If someone paid me the minimal amount for it, I could get over $6,000 for it. Any one in desire for a 2003 Xterra? :) I'm not one to have a fancy car, but in order to save money on future repairs (since it finally decided to start breaking baby's been good to me thus far), I thought...maybe I should trade it in and get a new car? But could I make the payments now that all my money is in my apt.? I'm unsure. While pondering that I headed to my apt to find that they were finally fixing the ac. Praise God! But how am I going to pay for my new starter? I'm gonna have to break into my savings. Bummer! Now, just 30 minutes ago they called to tell me that my car was ready but they close at 6. It was 6. I had no time to get the $, find a ride, and get there. Not to mention that the flea bombers just decided to do my apt and I have to wait at least 4 hrs to re-enter it. Looks like this car-less, gas filled apt. girl has to sleep on her parent's couch for a 3rd night in a row now. And they are starting to stress me. I no longer have a pool house to escape too. It is now bare. It is now the 4th day in a row now that I have not gone to bed before 1 am yet woke up before 7...and on a restless night. I am tired, I've somehow gained 3 lbs, my $ is being sucked dry, my car is falling apart, my "luxury" apt. is turning out to not be so "luxury," and running Yl in the area while my boss is on Sabbatical is hard. Needless to say, I am venting and I'm so frustrated! I just want to see the favor of God! As my last post stated, although I know that God is not like that, I feel like I'm being picked on so bad by God. However, He again reminded me, in so many ways, that I am not picked on but picked out by God, and He is with me in my "prison," just as He was Joseph. I just hope to see His hand in all this soon. Forgive my whining! I know it could be worse. I am grateful that I even have a car, have $ in savings, and am alive. After all, this world is not our home. I can't cozy up to it. Only God. I will be in Paradise soon enough! If you think about it, you can pray for me bloggy friends....or send me $...ha. :) At least I have internet here...ha, ha.

Monday, June 7, 2010

He's Faithful amiss the chaos

Well, I survived my 1st week in my new place. Forgive my last post please. I was a little grumbly. ☺ But I am better now. Besides all those irritations, I was frustrated with some other things around me as well. However, God has been re-affirming to me that living for the Kingdom will be complicated, but He is faithful! I was just re-encouraged of that through my pastor’s message on Joseph at church yesterday. Amen! I am happy to be here and now see God’s hand in it. The minor irritations are becoming less of a pain and I am sensing more freedom with Jesus here so praise God for that! However, I will say that as I write now I have a handful of “workmen” on my private patio beating so loudly that things are falling off of my wall…ha. They decided to “up-do” all of our balconies the moment that I decided to move in. Let’s just say that it’s been a challenge. I truly can’t help but laugh. It sounds like an earthquake in here! My dogs are so terrified that they aren’t even barking. ☺ Anyways, on a better note, the best thing about this apartment is that I have what they call a “Chef’s Kitchen” and I love it. It’s big for an apt. and now I am able to put out all the appliances that have laid dusty on a corner shelf of my pool house for years. For example, at this moment I am sipping a free but oh so delightful cappuccino from my 10 yr old espresso machine from Starbucks.

Delightful! As I said before, I am enjoying all of my new found freedoms now here. A huge one being with my family. Although I love my family dearly, upon moving out I shared with Steven how hurt I was that my family was not supportive nor helpful. To which he said, “Corrie, I think moving out will help yalls relationship so much. Right now you expect things that they can’t give you and b/c you live here you are constantly disappointed. But once you move out, the expectations won’t be there as much and you can just love them for who they are.” There is a lot more complications too personal to go into than that, but that made sense. And I can say that he was right. I went home last night (I try to about 2x a week to walk my old dog, Pooka, to water my garden and pick some veggies, and to let Linus, Lucy and myself visit) and while there I had a normal encounter with them, but one that didn’t rattle me to the core this time. I left and came home weeping, yet full of insight and love for them. It was a nice discovery and one I never had while living in their back yard. I do so hope for more freedom in this area! I can’t wait to see all that God has in store for me….See the fruit from my garden! And I also had to include the love bird lizards and Abi and Alexis after their ballet recitals! :)

Before I sign off I have to give a shout out to my baby girl, Lucy. See pic below! ☺ Lucy, your 2nd birthday was 4 days ago but I couldn’t write you b/c getting on the internet is a big deal now that I no longer have free, accessible wifi. ☺ But still, I wanted to tell you, “Happy Birthday, my sweet angel!” I can’t believe that you are already 2! As well as Linus, you are a gift with no regrets. Although you are only 1lb less than Linus, you look so much tinier. You are so petite and cute. For being the same breed, you are definitely both very different. Lucy, you are quiter (except at night), you are a big cuddler, you are more independent, you are playful when you want to be, you actually like playing with other dogs, you like to chase cars, and you hate getting your nails trimmed. You are my little, cuddly, yet moody ball of cuteness and I love you! I am so happy that you are mine little girl! And although Linus took awhile to get used to you, he actually loves having you around now! So does Sally since she can get away with biting you and not the alpha male, Linus. I love you, precious!

Well YL camping season is in bloom and I’m off to tackle all those tasks at hand. Stop by for a cappuccino some time bloggy friends! ☺ It’s homey in my eclectic place. See, Linus and Steven enjoy it! ☺ Love you!