Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Labels

Have you ever noticed just how enticed we are by labels? If you buy the can or box that says fat free or sugar free, then surely it's guilt-free, right? Or the toothpaste that ensures extra whitening will just in fact make your pearly whites even that more white. Labels draw us in and then we tend to define ourselves by them. I am reminded of the Seinfeld episode where they were eating fat free yogurt and felt so good about themselves, only to later discover that they were packing on the pounds from it. It's a funny one. But that is so us. What people say about us, what we think about ourselves, what lies the enemy throws at us, this we believe to be our reality...and then then scenario poorly plays itself out. We begin "packing on the pounds." What we thought securely defined us ends up being ripped out from underneath us and leaving us worse off than we were before. Or someone may carelessly say, "You kinda have flabby arms," and we are left only to find ourselves now in a full blown eating disorder b/c we must in fact be fat. In this current season that I find myself in I am realizing just how much I have allowed people and lies to define me. It is exhausting. It leaves you with no security when in fact, Jesus is. Just today, when I had some pretty harsh words thrown my way straight from the enemy (you know the kind that confirm all the lies you already think about yourself), I lost it. I thought, surely this must be true...this is who I am. I have cried so hard in the past 3 days that I have given myself a dang sinus infection. And talked about being kicked while I'm already down. The tears began to flow. And then a call came in. I was in a poor state, at a birthday party, and so didn't want to answer but thought that I should. I am glad that I did b/c it was truth that I needed to hear at the moment and I found some hope. Thank you, Tucker! :) As I hung up the phone I found the strength I needed to remind myself that all of us humans are messed up and therefore no-one can define anyone. Then I quickly was reminded just in fact Who I am in Christ. That's what defines us friends! We were bought at a price and His blood defines me. Through it, I/we are: Redeemed, Loved, Sanctified, made whole, made new, cherished, the apple of His eye, pure, etc., etc. Declare those truths and rest in them when the lies tend to be overwhelming! And don't sin through un-belief. With all that said, I'm off now to enjoy my last quiet moments of Christmas. All my family is gone (which is rare.) They are still out at my niece's 5th birthday party (of which I slipped out a bit early b/c as you an tell, I was in no party mood.) Currently I am here sipping some hot tea alone, by the fire, with the Christmas tree lights on, a puppy asleep on my lap, and some peace and quiet with my Savior. Happy New Year bloggy friends! May it be better for us all! I'm in need of a better decade! :) And wear your label as His Redeemed, heiress, child proud! And as another friend reminded me this week, "What if Christ had not come?" Yes, this world is hard...but what if the bible ended in Malachi? Jesus is our hope!!!!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

After Christmas blues...

Forewarning: This is gonna be a kinda depressing blog, sorry.

I hate the day after Christmas every year! KSBJ and 99.1 turn back into normal music, department stores no longer play Christ-filled music thru the Christmas carols (un-beknowest to them), decorations begin to come down, holiday cheer disappears, and the excitement wears off. I hate December 26th! And this year was no different. My usual after Christmas sadness snuck in and then a shocking, unusual, tidal wave of depression blew in. A certain scenario played out and I was left feeling REJECTED...once again. Rejected is a familiar term that I have grown all to accustomed with. And when that feeling comes over me, so does self-pity, un-worthiness, me feeling un-loveable, etc. Satan has a field day! I have learned how to walk victorious over the enemy through Jesus. I have grown a lot. But to be honest, I am weary now and tired of growing. Do you ever feel that way? You get tired of the fight? Tired of Satan coming after the same achilles heel over and over again? I do. That's where I am now. I wonder why did Jesus leave us with all this pain and suffering and under the prince of this dark world? Yes, I know the truth of scripture and I believe. He is in fact Sovereign and has a good plan! He came at Christmas and gave us Him so December 26th is just the beginning. And I know that the victory has been won through Jesus on the cross! But I'm tired now and sad. It won't last long. Healing will come yet again. But in the meantime, the pain is very deep and very real. I feel alone and I long to just leave this world and be with Jesus. No, I'm not suicidal. And I'm not that selfish. I know we are here to be salt and light to a dark and hurting world. I'm not the only one with problems. But I don't feel like a light right now. I'm done venting now. Please pray for me bloggy friends. I am sad. And to end on a cheerier note, here is a devotional that I read this morning. Just what I needed. May it encourage you as it did me. He is near to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. May I feel you now, Jesus!

Arise from the Wreckage
29 Dec 2009
Micca Monda Campbell-Proverbs 31

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose" Romans 8:28 (KJV)

Recently I had an ah-ha moment as I was reading Acts 9. At first, the familiar story seemed dull. You know how it is when you've read or heard the same story over and over. Then a new revelation merged from the content. In my minds-eye I began to see the word "rejection," although it was not in written form. Perhaps I saw what I was feeling that day—rejected.

I was at the part of the story where Saul, a murderer, had just been transformed into Paul, a disciple of Christ. Even though Paul was a changed person, many rejected him because of his past reputation as a murderer. This was only the beginning of Paul's trouble. Throughout his ministry, Paul not only experienced rejection, but great suffering and harassment too. For a changed man, his adversity seemed unfair.

Paul was devoted to serving Christ. He sacrificed his education, his life, and remained single so he could better serve the Lord. And yet, he was shipwrecked on several occasions, falsely accused, and thrown into prison more than once. Doesn't that seem odd for a man called of God? Wouldn't God's favor protect him from such adversity?

I thought about an illness that lingered with me all summer. It was so severe I was all but bed-ridden for months, unable to do life and ministry. I began to feel rejected by God. It didn't make sense. I was serving God in more ways than I could count. Then, without warning, strong winds blew in. Clouds hung overhead and it began to storm. Before I knew it I was "shipwrecked." You've been there, too.

Some of us have been rejected by family, friends, and co-workers. Others have been falsely accused. Some are imprisoned by finances, or blown around by the consequences of someone else's sin. It seems so unfair. You've tried to live right. You walk in obedience the best you can. You take God at His Word and trust in His promises. Shouldn't faith like this call for smooth sailing, instead of stormy, shipwrecking seas?

Isaiah reminds us that God's ways are not our ways. His thoughts and plans are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8; paraphrased). It's tough to figure God out when He doesn't play by our rules or have the same agenda we have. We forget that God sees a much bigger picture.

If we follow Paul's journey, we find God working through the rejection, the trials, the prison time, and the shipwrecks. God used these hardships to position Paul. Not for fame, but to increase the Kingdom of God. Paul witnessed to the Pharisees through his rejection and imprisonment. People saw God's power at work when Paul survived the st orms, when the snake bite didn't kill him, and when the jail shook, opening the doors and loosing chains. The Lord used these difficulties so others would witness His power and believe.

Paul allowed God to use him as a vessel. He didn't sit on the sidelines, full of self-pity and doubt. Instead, as Acts 16:22-31 tells us, after being stripped, beaten, severely flogged, thrown in the inner cell of a prison and his feet in stocks, Paul prayed and sang hymns to God. Others around him were listening. The power of God came in such a way, that the prison guard begged Paul to tell him, "What must I do to be saved?" He replied, "Believe in the Lord Jesus" (NIV).

God doesn't waste our pain, our rejection or our "shipwrecks." He uses them to bring about His plan—to position us so that others can see His transforming power at work in our lives and believe in the living God.

If that's true, and it is, then our challenge is to rise from the wreckage, like Paul, so tha t our lives will give testimony that draws others to the Master. Today I will no longer sit on the sidelines of life full of self-pity. I choose to rise, pray and praise, so that God can position me to shine for His glory, and so that others will believe.

Dear Lord, forgive me for wallowing in self-pity and rejection. I trust that You see the bigger picture. I believe there is a purpose for my pain. Strengthen me to rise from my ashes so that others will see You are my help and my salvation. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Application Steps:
God has called us to live by faith, not by sight. Even though we don't always understand our difficulties, they don't have to overwhelm us. Choosing to trust God helps restore a sense of hope and stability to our lives, and also allows us to rise from our ashes.

Reflections:
What will you choose to do today: will you wallow in self-pity or rise and praise the Lord?

Power Verses:
Nahum 1:7, "The Lord is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him." (KJV)

Psalm 121:1-2, "I will lift up my eyes to the hills—From whence comes my help? My help comes from the LORD, Who made heaven and earth." (NKJV)

And, don't laugh at me, but a song from the Jonas Brothers that my nieces and nephew gave me to encourage me:


A Little Bit Longer (You Don't Even Know) lyrics

Got the news today.
Doctor said i had to stay
A little bit longer and i'll be fine
When i thought it'd all be done
When I thought it'd all been said
A little bit longer and I'll be fine
But you don't know what you got 'til it's gone
And you don't know what it's like to feel so low
And everytime you smile you laugh you glow
You don't even know, no, no.
You don't even know

All this time goes by
Still no reason why
A little bit longer and I'll be fine.
Waitin' on the cure
But none of them are sure
A little bit longer and I'll be fine
But you dont know what you got 'til it's gone
You dont know what its like to feel so low.
And everytime you smile you laugh you glow
You dont even know, no, no.
You dont even know, no, no.

And you don't know what you got 'til it's gone.
And you Don't know what it's like to feel so low, yeah!
And everytime you smile or laugh you glow,
You dont even know! yeah! oh!
You don't even no

So I'll wait 'til kingdom come.
All the highs and lows are gone.
A little bit longer and I'll be fine.
I'll be...fine

God, I hope so!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

On this Christmas eve...

I have been busy this Christmas season. Busy: taking care of my sick gpa, writing a book and "getting my plunder" :), and with my work in the ministry. However, this Christmas eve is a peaceful one. At my home tonight: there's awesome Christmas movies playing, the twinkle lights are all plugged in, my Christmas scents are sprayed and burning, my cooking & baking are done, the family has been visited, horrible eating has been had, Christmas PJ's (like from the Christmas story) :) are ready to be wore, my dogs are all tuckered out, and I am now awaiting church and Christmas morning tomorrow. But most importantly, I am reflecting on Galatians 4:4-7. There are such profound truths in that tiny chunk of scripture!...God's perfect timing; how God REDEEMED us (ransomed us) from the empty way of slavery life handed down to us by our forefathers-that we might receive the FULL rights of his children, and therefore we can cry out DADDY to GOD, and also be an HEIR!!!! WOW!!!! He was born to die for us! Oh thank you, Jesus that you care! Happy Birthday, Jesus! And Merry Christmas friends! :)







Friday, December 4, 2009

It's SNOWING in Texas again! :)

As I was leaving my house last night I bent down to kiss my 4 year old niece (Abi) good-bye, when she proceeded to say, "CC, You know it's gonna snow tomorrow?" To which I said, "Yea, I hope so!" To which she replied, "No, it is. God told me so. He has told me everyday this week." I couldn't help but smile and then I prayed that He would let it snow for her....instead of thanking God that it will. What little faith we have! Jesus Himself declared that we must have faith like a child. I want that! It has indeed snowed today and it has been glorious! In fact, as I type now I am watching real snow fall out my window and it is so very peaceful and beautiful. When I woke up this morning I looked out my window and saw it falling. It was quiet, peaceful, majestic, beautiful and pure. And then I gazed up at my blinds and saw the paper snowflakes that I had made. We don't get much snow in texas so I had made some paper snowflakes for my window a few days ago. You know, imitating one of my favorite movies, Elf. :) I looked up at those, then looked out my window at the real thing. And then it hit me...how often do we make our own imitations of "snow" ("life") when God offers us the real thing. We just don't trust Him that His way is better. My pastor is teaching on Genesis currently and a few weeks ago, as he was preaching on the ark and Noah, he stated, "We need to stop climbing through windows when God shuts doors. And we need to walk through His open doors in faith." Boy do I ever "climb through windows" out of sheer fear. Last night I was talking to my best friend on the phone when she begin to confide in me about some problems in her marriage. Nothing earth shattering. She loves her husband but he just hasn't offered her much of life. You see, as John Eldredge puts it, men long for an adventure, a beauty to rescue, life. Where as we women long to be rescued. Nothing wrong with that truth. Problem is, unless men allow God to be there adventure and women allow Him to be our rescuer, we are in big trouble. My friend's husband is currently just focused on projects to be his adventure and you can understand the problems that therein now lie. We were created for eternal life, yet we aren't satisfied with the life giver. We don't seem to trust Him. We are too busy making fake paper snow flakes while the real stuff falls just outside our window. Why can't we be more like my niece? And then when it snows, go outside and just enjoy it? I don't have all the answers. But I was reminded today through my devotional over Psalm 31 and the snow, that He does and He has a plan. For now, until it's all figured out, I'm just going to enjoy the snow and you should too! I see 2 pair of love bird cardinals out my window doing just that thing. And I can hear my niece declaring out loud to her self, "Hellelujah, Jesus!" Amen! :) Happy snow day! :)
"But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, "You are my God." My times are in your hands; deliver me from my enemies and from those who pursue me. Let your face shine on your servant; save me in your unfailing love." Psalm 31:14-16







Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Tuesdays...

I hate Tuesdays! The enemy always attacks me on Tuesdays! My pastor recently said that Mondays are the days that pastors (that he) feels most attacked. Pastor's are, for the most part, in a "spiritual bubble" on Sundays....it is the "grande finale" to their preparation. But when Monday's come, they feel tired, weary, & attacked, so most take off. I too work in ministry and find that not only do I fight the spiritual fight everyday for myself, but I am fighting for a lot of people around me as well. And Monday's are my "grande finales" in my ministry. Therefore when Tuesdays come, and I'm not allowed to take off, I am tired, weary, attacked, and busy. I am aware of this now and know that there is victory in Jesus and how to be keen to the enemy's schemes. However, he has not ceased fighting even harder now. That brings me to today. Wednesday. As I was having my quiet time this morning I just began to sob. I was weary form the battle yesterday. Then I thought of Jeremiah 29:12, "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you." At that moment I felt our sweet Jesus so very near. Listen, don't argue with me on what I am about to say. :) This doesn't happen often. And I know that He wasn't physically there in a tangible way. But I felt Him kneeling beside me with His hand on my back and I felt Him mourn with me. Yet I sensed that He was also smiling as he knew that His plan for me and those around me was good. It was freeing to release my concerns in such a way to God. And then I was led to I Samuel 12:21 & 23-24. Basically I felt God saying to me, "Keep battling in prayer, child, for that is where the victory is won. And in the meantime, don't look to any other Hiding Place other than me." One of my favorite people (Mary Ann Bridgwater) quoted R.A. Torrey in her devotional this morning, which said, "All that God is, and all that God has, is at the disposal of prayer. Prayer can do anything that God can do, and as God can do everything, prayer is omnipotent." Amen! So my word to you is, don't stop wrestling that thing out in regards to yourself and others in your very own Garden of Gethsemane. We may drop sweats of blood and many tears...but soon enough we will be at the side of the Father! In the meantime, hide yourself in Him alone b/c He is all that we need! We are in a battle, friends. Don't give up! He has given you everything that you need for life and Godliness and the victory has already been won...that's why the enemy is so relentless. Take up your sword and watch God fight alongside you! And remember, our struggle isn't against flesh and blood but against the evils in this world. Take heart...he has overcome the world! I love you! And if you think of it, please pray for me. People in ministry could surely use it. I know as I pray for many others myself. Thank you!
... me in Israel at the Garden of Gethsemane

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Update on my life via pictures

I changed my page for the Holidays-There's a new puppy at our house-I'm growing my nails out-I got my favorite new beanie at the Nutcracker Market-Great holiday pancakes at IHOP with a few YL friends-AND....IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS at my house!!!! :)