Friday, August 21, 2009
So my Nissan Xterra is about 50 miles away from hitting the big 100,00 miles! I looked down at that today when I was getting my oil changed and couldn't believe it. My car is so old and worn! I feel like I too have hit 100,00 miles! This has been ONE CRAZY SUMMER!!!! Hence why I have been limited on my blog writings. So many mixed emotions. It has been hard. I hate hard. I sadly run from my hard. But we/I learn form hard and God has been teaching me a lot about not running lately. The only thing that you should run from is evil. And the only thing that you should run to is God. And nothing good ever comes easy. Perhaps that's why my favorite movies are Lord of the Rings and the Rocky's. A few weeks ago I found myself facing another hard thing. I was taking some YL girls to Wilderness...one of YL's many amazing camps in Colorado. Wilderness is a backpacking trip and I love it. But I had just found out, amongst the many other hard things going on at the time, that my group was about to hike the hardest trail that they have...San Luis. A massive 14,001 ft. mountain. I had just gotten done with an intense, good, yet exhausting camp in Colorado and not even a day later I was off to conquer this....admist my own personal struggles at the time. "It's too much, God!," I cried. I wanted to run. And then a good friend of mine (Jawaan) convinced me that I shouldn't. He proceeded to read me the story in the Bible about Elijah and how he too ran and sat under a tree in the wilderness and wanted to die. But after many pleadings from an Angel of the Lord, he got up and rose to victory (just like the rest of his story later tells.) I went and conquered San Luis after that and was so much the better for it. From breakthrough's in my heart that were long over due, to a very painful break up, to watching YL kids receive and deny Jesus, to learning some very humbling lessons about myself, to new relationships, to shattered characters, to broken relationships...it has been one crazy summer. I still want to run under a tree and "die" at times. But our faithful God has not giving up on me. As a great Christian song says, "He's not finished with me yet."
Lord, please have mercy and bring beauty from ashes. Take over! I need you now...I need you always!
This pic sums up my life right now...it's from the top of the mountain that I conquered just a few weeks ago in Colorado. Freedom is on it's way....