Expectations...

Hello, my name is Corrie and I am an over-expector. There you have it. In total contrast to my last post, the Holidays ended up not turning out so jolly for me after all. Don't get me wrong, in pure Corrie fashion, I had everything ready to go and as I last stated, was just anticipating and ready to enjoy all that is "Christmas." But pretty soon all I began to find were the thorns among the roses.

It started out when an old YL kid and I found a puppy abandoned on the side of the road. He appeared to be a very tiny, male, chocolate lab. Well, if you know me at all, then you know that I LOVE animals...esp. puppies, so this should have been a true Christmas gift. That's what I thought at first. My YL friend couldn't keep him, my husband had been wanting a bigger dog, no one else was claiming him, and it turned out that I had a vet appt. already scheduled the next day for one one of my other dogs, so this seemed perfect! All checked out pretty well at the vet and so then it was off to Petsmart to buy all the puppy essentials and some food for him. I decided to name him Franklin even...to match my Peanuts gallery theme that I have going on over here. At the time, my holidays were looking great! Then it began to all go downhill...

Let's just say that Franklin is pretty high maintenance. I have been around all sorts of dogs all my life but never a lab. This little man is crazy! My little, loveable, grouch of a maltese, Linus, hates him so I am constantly refereeing fights. He pees NON-STOP, cries ALL THE TIME, destroys EVERYTHING, and he has more energy than any dog I have ever seen. People keep telling me that labs are rowdy puppies but great adult dogs. Well, I am losing patience in this puppy stage. Let's just say that I now have 2 babies...Lillie and Franklin...and that my friends, is A LOT of work. God bless you moms of multiples out there! My holidays had now become a rat race between my baby, Franklin, house duties, wife duties, normal holiday stresses (mostly finances), mom duties, other peoples needs, and my other already full house of 5 other animals! All I was doing was meeting needs ALL DAY LONG and in the process my own health failed. It was about Christmas eve that both Lillie and I seemed to catch a cold that decided to linger (among every one else in Houston right about now during this CRAZY weather!) On top of that, Steven worked Christmas, and that was just stinky. Then came all of the friends and family that were in town that I had to and also wanted to see, but with that brought in town family leaving me with pity parties b/c we could not "hang out with them over the holidays too." Ugh! Long story short, I lost all of my pictures on my old phone (which had documented Lillie's life so far) b/c I got a new phone so that too has been a pain. New Year's eve now hits, Steven is working again and I come down with the flu. Perfect! On my way home from my parents, in search of bed for Lillie and I, the police dept. calls to say that my house alarm has been going off and I am heading home to go to sleep all by myself. I turned around, asked my dad to follow me home, and he came in with his gun ready to shoot somebody. Never found any signs of any one intruding but still doesn't leave you with the safest feeling ever. I was on the verge of laughter or tears...couldn't decide, but I had to get my now 2 babies to bed and my now sick self. I felt awful. I spent the next few days curled up in bed as Steven took off to help with Lillie. I was very grateful for my husband's help and the much needed rest, but for those of you who are married you probably can relate when I say that pretty much all Steven was able to do was play with Lillie. When I felt well enough to get out bed, the house was a MESS. And it had already looked like Disney had thrown up in it b/c of all of the toys that people completely spoiled Lillie with for Christmas. And as I write all of this, Franklin just peed for about the 3rd time in the kitchen. Oh dear...hahaha! All that to say...

Today is the first day that my husband went back to work and I am starting to feel better and am all alone. I prayed for God to have grace today and so far he has. :) But I realized something in the quiet of my soul...I am an over expector and that just leads to sheer disappointment. Nothing or no one can ever be perfect this side of heaven, and I try so hard for perfect. There, I admit it. It's a blessing and a curse. On one hand, I can manage to work really hard at things and get a lot done. Hence being ready for Christmas early. On the other hand, I can also be more of a Martha than a Mary and find myself constantly disappointed that I or others aren't doing things as good as we should. Hence, not enjoying Christmas this year AT ALL. Bottom line, I must just look to Jesus. In the words of Linus, from my favorite Peanuts, "Isn't that what Christmas is all about anyways?" I had turned into Charlie Brown, in all of his gloom and lost sight of all that really matters...Jesus! Good thing He knocked me down with the flu though so I could get a little break! :) So for all of you over expectors out there, do yourself and others a favor and let yourself and others off of the hook before the holidays up and leave and you find that you never got a chance to enjoy them.

I'll post some Christmas, Franklin and Lillie pictures later. In the meantime, Happy New Year, Friends!!! In lieu of resolutions (thats too stressful for a girl like me), I always pick a name of God that I hold near and dear that year and I can always see how that threads through my life that year when I look back. So this year I picked, Love. Oh that Steven, Lillie and I may come to love Him with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength this year and love our neighbor as ourselves! And that other Christians would finally stand up and do the same.

December thus far...

Via pictures...of course! So far this December has been fun! All these pictures are out of order but try and follow if you care that much! :)
We bought Lillie a walker for Christmas but if you know me at all, and you could see how tired that my arms are getting from carrying my growing girl, then you would know how much that I can not wait to give gifts! Therefore, since she doesn't know the difference yet anyways, Lillie received her walker early and has had fun cruising around in it. Below is a picture of her and our neighbor friend. I will admit that she prefers for me to either carry her around or to crawl around though still so so much for that! On a better note though, Lillie is starting to talk!! No big words yet but she says baba, mama & dada. It's so fun to hear! Anyways, back to pictures descriptions! Our sweet cousin, Alexis got baptized and that was so special to watch! We love her. Steven had his birthday and it was fun celebrating with Lillie and some friends! He finally got a Texans jersey that he has been begging for! Our good friends, the Dees' moved to far away to Colorado but Matt was in town for business so he got to come. Lillie is obsessed with his beard and loved playing with him. Below you will see a picture of her and their son, Keeton (born a day after Lillie) in the bow that Christa bought her. Sad to admit but Keeton looks way prettier in it! :) You will also find that my fur babies had to make it on here of course! They just got their Christmas groom and look so adorable. Too bad they wouldn't pose for me but this was in fact taken at the vet and they hate it there. My poor, 14 year old, Pooka goes in for a teeth cleaning thursday and I am praying that she makes it through! Please join with me, folks! Lastly, may you enjoy a pic of the new, tiny and precious baby, Colette! What a gift this little baby girl is! Lillie and I love play dates with her and her momma! That's all I got for now. Steven and I are trying to savor the rest of this December adventing the Christ, enjoying our family and preparing for the beginning stages of possibly adopting! Yes! Please be praying for us! Drink deeply from the Fountain of Life today! He is so worth it! And if you are in Texas, enjoy this awesome, Christmas cold snap! :)

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas! :)

But certainly not feel like it over here in Texas for goodness sakes! I am excited about it nevertheless! :) Yes, I am an over-achiever at times b/c our house is already decorated, our tree is up, Lillie has seen Santa, my presents are bought and it's only just now Dec. 1st...haha! But now I can just do what I love best about this time of year...sip a warm beverage beside my lit Christmas tree and just behold Him, watch a Christmas movie or in my case this year-watch my little monkey crawl all around the house! Yes, she is officially crawling!!! :) I wanted to share with you a couple of Advents that I stole from my friend, Megan. One is for single/married:

http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/good-news-of-great-joy-free-advent-ebook

And the other is for a family/kiddos:

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/48325590/AJesusAdventCelebration.pdf

Hope you enjoy along with me! 'Tis the season! I'll be in touch.

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." Isaiah 9:6

November...

This November has been fun! I have taken so many pictures but could only post these. :) Lillie turned 8 months old and is beginning to crawl and it is fun to watch! She is discovering so much more, sitting up all by herself, talking a lot more (baby talk) and growing fast! We started off this month by going to the pumpkin patch and got lots of great pictures. Next was our sweet Ryder's 1st birthday where Lillie had her first hay ride. It was a lot of fun! Then we got a sneak preview of the Houston Zoo lights and it was great! Next in line was our cousin, Alexis' 9th Birthday party and we also had a good time there. Up last was good, ol' Thanksgiving! Steven had to work, which was sad, so Lillie and I headed to my family's house for some food, football & fun. It was a good day!

Next up is my most favorite time of the year...CHRISTMAS!!! We are in the process of decorating and I am so excited!! But before I skip ahead, I will end by sharing with you what God has really been nailing into my heart this season:

"Gaze at Jesus, glance at your problems and then choose joy. For thankfulness takes the sting out of adversity and when you give Him thanks, He gives you some joy. So practice thankfulness consistently and negative thought patterns will gradually grow weaker and weaker. Praise the Lord for who He is and don't neglect the process of giving thanks, which will enlighten your mind, rather than darken it. Offer up a sacrifice of praise and see the blessings then all around you!"

Happy belated Thanksgiving and welcome to Christmas Time!!! :)

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Lillie's 1st Halloween

I admit that I am not a huge fan of Halloween; However, I decided to allow Lillie to enjoy as much as it as a 7 month old baby possibly can. So we started out our Halloween by carving a pumpkin together as a family the night before. I of course toasted some yummy pumpkin seeds. Then yesterday, our Parks' friends came over to babysit and play with Lillie. After her nap we put her in her skeleton bones pj's (didn't really dress her up)and headed to my parents for a bit for their annual Halloween party. Her cousins looked cute and Lillie enjoyed most of her time there with her buddy, Papa. Then we quickly headed home to pass out candy to our heavily populated kid neighborhood. We had lots of visitors, got rid of all of our candy, and Lillie loved answering the door with her daddy. We even had great friends come over and hang out with us! It was a pretty good day! Happy Fall, Ya'll!! :)

But the greatest of these is love...

I was recently talking with someone about my desire to adopt. My heart has always ached for the underdog, the outcast, the lonely, the hurting, the oppressed, the one who acts out for obvious reasons. Perhaps that is why the Rocky series is one of my favorite movies of all times. I can watch them or The Lord of the Rings over and over and over. And perhaps that is also why my heart bleeds for Africa and all of the hurting orphans that I have once met there. I know that is why I also love YL. So many hurting kids searching for some answers...the Answer. I wasn't an orphan nor was I adopted. My biological family and my new little family of 3 loves me. However, for far too personal reasons to place publicly on a blog, deep down I can find myself feeling like a hurt little girl who was supposed to be loved but was rather passed around from one bad foster home to the next. But then I finally got placed in a good, adoptive home and they kept telling me that they loved me but I had heard that before...with no good actions to follow...only hurtful ones. Now I had to see it. So I sat back and watched to see if they really loved me and if I could trust them. I appeared strong but deep down I was weak. All I wanted was to see if this time, they really loved me. But that's when HE came. Jesus. He went to great links to show me that He loved me. He died a horrible death on the cross for me. He created me out of nothing, breathed new life into me, invited me into His play ground, covered over my sin with His blood, and accepted me just as I am...yet loved me too much to let me stay that way. So that's the key. His love was enough to satisfy my deepest needs. He was trustworthy and would never let me go. However, He had to teach me. For He knew from the beginning that even though He had created everything and said it was good, there was one thing that I couldn't have yet always longed for. I kept reaching for my "apple." It's the same apple that we all reach for...sin...although the fruit looks different to each of us. But the root is the same...the need to feel loved. And if we don't look to the Lover of our souls for that, we will constantly look elsewhere. For me, I wanted the people around me to validate me and tell me my worth. And that worked for me in some cases. Lots of people really did/do love me. But it was the few that didn't like me and let it be known. Their voice ruled over all and sent me into a foster home of despair. But then HE came...Jesus walked into my pitiful surroundings, dusted me off, and picked me. He adopted me and said, "You are MINE." He loved me with an unfailing love. And I trusted Him. But He knew that I wasn't complete, not this side of heaven. So the lessons began, as is with any child that you are raising. He had to take my apples from me and teach me my worth. It wasn't in the places I thought it was. He was/is my worth! He had to teach me love. For that is why He came. But first I had to learn His love. Next, He had to teach me how to love. So where did He start, with the ones who are the hardest to love of course. And it ripped me, this girl who just wanted to be validated, to my core. But He was determined to give me a new heart. A heart of flesh, no longer a heart of stone. And now He is teaching me my worth and how to love. By this, I know that my God is for me. I now know that we are all foster kids looking for love and we will act out until we let our Abba adopt us. However, He doesn't just want to adopt us so we can later walk into His new heavenly Kingdom. Rather, He wants to adopt us so we will walk in His new Kingdom now...on this side of Heaven. May we live like the children of God that we are, release our "apples," and enjoy all that His playground has to offer. Maybe then I won't have to love so many unlovely people...hahaha.
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She's half way there!

My little Lillie just turned 6 months old and it's like she grew up over night! They truly grow so fast and I am so grateful that I get to enjoy every moment with her now! All checked out great at Lillie's 6 month Dr's visit...minus the yucky shots! :( She weighs 16lbs and is 24in tall. Here are a few new things that Lillie is up to...

* She is rolling over everywhere and so I will find her at the end of her crib after every nap now. She loves it in there and will hang out there for a good while before I hear her cry.

* She is attempting to crawl and sit up but hasn't officially started yet.

* She started eating baby food! So far green peas, rice cereal and pears are her favorite and she grunts the whole time that she eats.

* She has her 1st tooth!...but it's hard to see b/c her silly tongue is always in the way!

* She still loves being outside and enjoys walks with momma. She is able to sit in her swing now.

* She is down to 2 naps a day and on a pretty good schedule.

* She is "talking" more, laughing more, and smiling lots.

* She loves her dogs and her papa.

* She has finally moved from bath times in her tub in th the kitchen sink to her tub in her own bath tub

* She still love Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and now Octonauts.

* She gets to meet her buddy Keeton, tomorrow! She gets to see her God brother, Ryder and Parks God sisters often.

* Daddy makes her smile & Mommy makes her feel secure.

* She loves attention from others, as long as Mommy is in full eyesight.

* Home is her favorite place.

Lillie, I love you so much and pray for you everyday! You are a gift! I am so excited that fall is officially here and to get to share it with you! Next year you can try my pumpkin spice latte! :)