Revelations, Transformation and a New Song!!!

Woo-hoo...Jesus is so cool!!! :) I awoke this morning, after my post last night, and opened my first devo (I read several!) :) It was Beth Moore's, Breaking Free Day by Day, and it said...

"There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear." I John 4:18.

"Have you ever feared that someone would cease loving you? Not only have I feared it. I've experienced it! God has carefully and graciously allowed some of my fears to come true so I would discover that I would not disintegrate. God TAUGHT me to survive on HIS UNFAILING LOVE. It wasn't fun, but it was TRANSFORMING!

The one thing neither you nor I could survive is the loss of God's love, and that is a loss we will never have to try. His love endures forever. That's what is meant when the Scripture says that 'perfect love drives out fear.'" AMEN!!!

Hello! Oh my...that just sums up me and the NEW place that I am in right now! I can see the top of the mountain. And when the valleys of the shadow of death come, I need fear no evil now b/c now I don't just know, I KNOW that HE is with me! My perfect love! Hallelujah! And to sum it up best...

Shane & Shane's, Everything is Different:

"Who am I to know Your Glory?
Who am I to recognize Your voice, calling out?
How could I be in Your story?
The God who was, and is, and is to come
Who has won!

I was dead in my sin, You came in

You made a way when there was no way
You covered heaviness with garments of praise
You wrote a song and You're singing it over me
I feel a dead heart beating now
This revelation makes me wanna shout,
That Jesus has been sent
and everything is different

Oh yes it is

You turned ashes into beauty
You are forming not against me now
You found me somehow
You turned mourning into dancing
You turned weeping into a joyful noise
Oh Rejoice!

I was dead in my sin, You came in

You made a way when there was no way
You covered heaviness with garments of praise
You wrote a song and You're singing it over me
I feel a dead heart beating now
This revelation makes me wanna shout,
That Jesus has been sent
and everything is different

What matter of love,
That You would call us, sons and daughters
We cry, 'Abba, Father!'

Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah!

I will never be the same!

You made a way when there was no way
You covered heaviness with garments of praise
You wrote a song and You're singing it over me
I feel a dead heart beating now
This revelation makes me wanna shout,
That Jesus has been sent

And everything is different"

Check out their new CD, Everything is Different. Amazing! Here I am...ready to embrace my NEW chapter with You, God! We shall see..... :) This butterfly is off....

Perspective

So I took my YL kids tonight to see that movie that I blogged about the other day (To Save a Life.) A lot of kids showed up and it was amazing! They loved it and were touched, as I was again...praise the Lord! While watching it I couldn't help but smile at some parts...the parts that everyone else would tear up at. The first time that I saw it, I teared up too. But this time I knew the ending so I wasn't sad. And it got me thinking...isn't that just like God with us? He knows the big picture. When our tears fall, I know that He cries with us (ex. Lazarus); However, He knows the ending so perhaps He even smiles sometimes too when He holds us. That gave me perspective. The other day I was talking to my bestie, Hanna on the phone and she was sharing a story with me about her youngest son, Luke. She said, "Corinna, I was bathing Luke last night and while the water was running he would scoop it up in this cup and pour it on his head. He was so content and kept doing it. But our old farmhouse has poor plumbing so when I realized that the water instantly turned to scolding for a bit, I grabbed the cup from him. He of course threw a fit so I thought that I'd let him pour it on himself once so he'd learn and stop crying. I did, he cried, and so I took the cup from him again. Again, Luke cried for the cup. So one more time I let him have it, only to have him pour hot water on himself again and have him end up crying. Finally I took the cup away for good so he would not burn himself to death and he cried the rest of the bath. At that moment I thought, 'how often do we beg God for things that He knows aren't good for us, and He lets us have them, we get hurt, but we still want them. Then eventually he rips them away for our own good?'" Wow! Such a teachable moment from my friend. Isn't that so true? It's like my precious namesake, Corrie Ten Boom, once said..."Our life is like a cross stitch pattern. We only see the back and all the threads going every which way, with no rhyme or reason. But God see the front and knows what the glorious pattern will turn out to be!" (paraphrase.) Today, after I blogged about strength and transformation, my good friend Tucker text me and said, "Corrie, I just read your blog. Looks like you are already on top of the mountain." To which I replied, "I wish." And then, through a chain of events, it hit me...I felt FREE! Could this be real?!?! God is so good at working things out! I'm sure I will be immediately tested tomorrow. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I want these truth and revelations to be made REAL in me...and that's how He is doing it! But for now...for now I feel FREE...FINALLY!!! Oh praise the Name of Jesus! He knows what I need and really want! And now that I am not just thinking about myself, I see the bigger picture. He is working all for the good! "The Lord is my Shepherd, I have everything that I need. I shall not be in want!" Psalm 23:1. Now that's some perspective folks! :)

Strength & Transformation

Recently a former loved one in my life said that I was so weak, and not strong. The words stung as I am currently learning to walk in what Christ defines me as, and no longer allowing man's words to define me. Normally I would crater under harsh words like that. I would let them define me. But not this time. I didn't even give them a second to penetrate b/c I knew that they were far from the truth. No, I am not strong, but in Him, I am STRONG! And I am in Him! Psalm 73:26 states, "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Amen!!!! You see, God may not be performing a miracle in my circumstances right now. BUT...He IS performing a miracle in my heart and mind! Hallelujah! As Habakkuk 3:17-19 states, "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, YET I WILL rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The SOVEREIGN LORD IS MY STRENGTH; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights." Yes! I am being transformed, as 2 Corinthians 3:17&18 states. I looked up that word, "transformed," in my Hebrew/Greek Bible and it stated: As Romans 12:2 states, transform means to metamorphis, to form something. To "concentrate on letting your character undergo a metamorphis by the renewing of your mind; in order that you might be able to evaluate and ascertain what the will of God is-that which is good, well-pleasing, and ideal." AMEN & Amen!!! His word is love and active! You see, I have always thought I am worthless until fully healed, until I fully arrive. Not true! We are constantly being transformed. Just like the butterflies that I so dearly love. Like clay in the hand of the Potter. I am regaining pliability, as my devotional talked on today from Jeremiah 18:8! And His blessing comes to those who bend; the little lambs whose legs are broken! God has done His part in me and will continue. I just need to do my part-to work out His salvation with fear and trembling, by walking in love and obedience. I John 4:10! This butterfly is learning how to fly! May you too. In Him, you are strong and free my friends! Fly and declare the beauty of the Lord!

"The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace." Psalm 29:11.

The waiting room

Shane and Shane Lyrics from Shanebweb

waiting room

by shane barnard


i will run when i cannot walk
i will sing when there is no song
i will pray when there is no prayer
i will listen when i cannot hear

sitting in the waiting room of silence
waiting for that still soft voice i know
offering my words up to the rooftop to Your heart
trusting that this closet's where You are

Lord i know if i change my mind
You will change my heart in time
Sovereign Lord this time's from You
so i sit in the waiting room of silence
cause its all about You

i will fight when i cannot feel
i will trust when You dont seem real
i will tell when i cannot speak
i will step when i cannot see

 


return to Shane B Web Main
return to Shane and Shane Lyrics

all lyrics by shane and shane are © by shane and shane.
(if a song is not shane barnard, it is copyright by that person)

*Every word of this song describes my journey now! Psalm 131:2! May these minister to you as well! Be still & submit to His Sovereignty! It's all about Him!

He makes me lie down in green pastures

As previously posted, today was a hard day. Unexpected news came my way, my biggest fears rang true (amongst other things), and I was down. This teaching phase is tough. But I had to prepare a lesson for my YL kids tonight so I couldn't hide away. And that was God's plan. We are not here for us! :) It was 2 hours before YL and I had no talk planned nor was I ready to be "on" for them. I pleaded with God, "I have nothing to say. I am in pain. I have nothing to offer them. What do I do? Give me a lesson now!" To which I felt Him gently reply, "Speak from your pain, my child." "What do I say, God?" I asked. "What did I say to you the other night?" He answered (but in a question of course b/c we know that Jesus likes to do that.) :) I muttered, "Psalm 23. But they won't understand that. I can't even think clearly to speak." "Try Me," He said. So I jotted a few notes down and headed out with no make-up on, swollen eyes, and a red nose. I said a prayer and Jesus calmed me with an amazing sunset (pic below) and some kind words. 8pm came, hundreds of kids flooded in, the action began and I was off and running. Then came the end for my talk. I got up there and told them that I was not gonna pretend to be another Christian leader in their life who seemed to have it all together. I shared with them my story from the other night (previous post) and how even though I am 30, freshly broken up, and alone, I have Jesus who sweetly pursues me. Then I read them Psalm 23. I broke it down...really focusing on how He "makes us lie down in green pastures." When I read that part before I used to envision a little lamb laying in the sun on a green meadow...like in beautiful Colorado. However, I recently found that not to be the complete case. The Shepherd would break a back hind leg of a wondering lamb and carry it on his shoulders, bring it back to the fold, and there it had to stay until it's leg healed and it would no longer wander away. (Thanks Tuck!) My point, we may walk through the valley of the shadow of death, God may break our legs, but we need not fear b/c He is our Shepherd, He is with us, and therefore we have everything that we could ever need or want. He only wants to protect us and give us life. He knows better than we what we need, rather than want. It was not a usual YL talk, but I felt it was needed. I needed it. Why wouldn't they? We all suffer. I assured them that although divorces will occur, Haiti disasters, broken legs before the last big game, break ups, being single at 30 and in pain, etc., He is with us. He came to seek and to save the lost, not the righteous. After it was over I was flooded with kids waiting to talk to me. That is not typical. They usually can't wait for the talk to end, the music to start, and the games of basketball or dancing to begin. But tonight...tonight kids were sharing their pains and telling me how much that they needed to hear what God had to say to them through me. Even one of my new, young, married leaders came up afterward and hugged me and said, "Thank you for your talk tonight. I am married and needed to hear that. Only God is enough for me! You inspire me so much!" Wow...that meant a lot. The youth pastor (of the church of where we hold YL at) was there too and he too said that he loves hearing me talk and my talk inspired him and so many kids. There were a lot of new kids there texting me afterwards and saying how much that they love YL. I usually beat myself up after a talk. But not tonight. And I'm not tooting my own horn either. This one was not me. I had nothing to offer and Jesus came to comfort me so with the comfort I had received, I could comfort others. How beautiful is our Gospel! Just as the pictures below describe...in your greatest pain, put your head on His shoulder. The kids had just been crying before I held them. And Sally is in heat so miserable...ha. Anyways, trust our Good Shepherd, friends. You may not have what you want, but He knows what you need. And in the end, you will want that too. He may make you lie down in green pastures, but it's only to protect you from impending harm, to restore your soul. For He wants to give you life! John 10:10! So while having to lay in green pastures, take advantage to lay your head on the Beloved, just as John did, hear His heartbeat as your own, and come to know and love Him more than anything in this life! There is an incredible road ahead of us all! Goodnight!

Letting go & Looking Up to Receive your Inheritance

My internet has been down for awhile and still is but I had to sneak away somewhere to write. This past Saturday night I headed to the movies to do some research for Young Life. There is a new movie playing called, To Save A Life, and is a Christian film about teen's struggles. It is very good and one that I will take some of my High School friends to see. Anyways, when I left the theatre Satan randomly decided to attack me. Thoughts/lies flew in my head that I would never find a man who would love me right and I started entertaining them. I got in my car and sat there a moment under the dark, night sky, yet bright parking lot lights. When all of a sudden the brightest, largest & longest shooting star/meteor slowly shot across the sky! It took my breath away! I had 105.7 Christian radio on in the back ground and at the same time some man on there started reading Psalm 23-first in english, then followed in Hebrew. My life verse from Jesus! Right then and there I felt the Lord whisper to me, "My sweet child, only I will love you with a perfect love. Only I can pursue you perfectly and go to all stops to show you my love. Only I know exactly what you need and want. Only I." He had loved me so sweetly and knew me. I breathed a sigh of relief and just thanked Him over and over! I was at peace. He had overturned the lie with His truth for me and showered me with the only love that I need. The next day (yesterday) I headed to church to learn more about Genesis (what we are studying.) My pastor was talking about Abram and how he had to seperate from Lot, his secuirty, and look up to God in order to finally receive his inheritance from God (Genesis 12-14.) I felt God speaking to my heart to let go of my security, my "Lot," that I have been holding onto in this tough time, in order to receive my inheritance. I felt empowered. Then this morning (in my QT) God confirmed that it was time for me to move on. It felt painful but I knew that I needed to and said I was ready. That's when the final "nail in the coffin" came. I was confronted by my Lot and told that it was done with me. Pain shot through, but then I was instantly reminded of what God has been assuring me of over and over in this time. One, that as my life verse (Psalm 23) states, He is in fact my Shepherd and in Him I have everything I need. And two, just as He tested Simon in Luke 22:31&32, so I too am being tested. Will I really follow Him to death? Do I really love Him? Then He will allow Satan to attack/sift me in this time, but HE is praying for me, that my faith may not fail, and WHEN I turn back, I MUST strengthen my brothers. Yes! My faith will not fail! This season is HARD! It is hard to let go and move on. But I know that Jesus is holding my hand as we walk into this NEW chapter together. As my friend reminded me, I am standing in a more secure place right this moment than ever before! Thank you, Kristen! Friends, may we consider everything as rubbish that we may gain Christ and be found in Him! He is the Potter who knows what exactly will make this piece of clay look radiant!

P.S. I have a new addition to my Peanuts gallery now. Introducing Sally, my new cat! :) As previously blogged, I rescued a bunch of stray kittens from my garage this summer (at the very beginning of this hard season that I am now walking through.) Several died, a few were adopted, a few more escaped and I kept one...Sally. I am highly allergic to cats and was beginning to be bogged down from this season so I didn't even attempt to keep her. I nursed her to health and wanted to keep her close so gave her to my brother in law. He has had her for about 8 months now and recently called and said that he could no longer keep her. Without hesitation, I said that I would take her, but didn't know what I would do with her. I am animal obsessed! :) Anyways, I prayed that I would be able to keep her...that: I would miraculously have no allergies; she wouldn't try to eat my bird, Woodstock; she would settle down (after not much attention was shown her before so she was a bit wild); and that my dogs, Linus & Lucy, wouldn't try to eat her. :) Well, it has been 2 weeks now and all is well...praise the Lord! It truly is a miracle and I love this little girl! It's just like God, as Psalm 23 states, to restore our souls. To restore means: to recover, take you back to the place of captivity and give you a do-over. I rescued Sally at the beginning of this hard season and now I am getting her back, miraculously, as it is finally and slowly coming to an end-and God is wrapping a finishing bow on it! Thank you, God! Attached is also a water color painting of Linus & Lucy, that my dear friend, Aimee gave me for my birthday! :) I'm off now...Yl is back in full swing starting this week! God, help me through this new season please...and put a NEW song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to my God, that many will see and fear and put their trust in You-Psalm 40:3!!!

So long 20's...

Well, it's official...I turned 30 today! Yikes! :( I awoke this morning to that reality and my first devotional was about how Satan wants to steal our dreams...our dreams as women of: bearing fruit and children, of having a spouse and family, etc. I had to laugh! So far that loser has succeeded. Poop! HOWEVER, as the devo later stated, the enemy may have been standing on my God-given ground these past few years-daring me to possess it. And I may have been cowering to him. BUT I know that I will possess it this year!!! I will...I just know it! I may be in another decade and satan may still be taunting me, BUT...I WILL get my God-given ground this year...I just know it! Let it be so, Father! I can't control that I am getting older. Just like I can't control the season that I find myself in now, the losses I'm encountering, the lies I'm battling, the strongholds I'm getting freed from, etc. I was reminded of that by someone close to me this morning. :( However, YOU, God, are my Rock! This year...

My soul will find rest in You alone-Psalm 62:1&2! And you will make me like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God, trusting in Your unfailing love forever-Psalm 52:8! You will be my shield, my glory, and the lifter of my head-Psalm 3:3! You will be pleased to present me this year-Galatians 1:15&16! I will be fruitful this year, to Your delight! My Psalm 17 cry will be answered! Just as you stood firm in Whose You were in Luke 20, so I will...even when mocked! This year I will fear You alone-Psalm 86:11! I request wisdom, I will revere You, and I will receive Godly counsel so that I will have wisdom and walk in truth, no longer lies, insecurities & feelings! It has already been accomplished on the cross! Amen!

I was pretty bummed this morning so I asked God for a special touch of His love. I had finished my QT and saw this little "coffee table" book sitting there. It's called, His Princess Bride, with a little word for each day. I picked it up and whispered a little prayer that God would speak to me through it. I just opened to a random page and the starting line was from my life verse-Psalm 23. It was Psalm 23:4 and this is what followed:

"My Princess, I will never leave you. I know you live in a world where many relationships come to a bitter end, My love. But I am not a man; I am your Lord and your Prince. I will never leave you or forsake you, my beloved Bride. As long as you walk with Me, you will never walk alone. I am with you wherever you are, and I will never abandon you. If you ever doubt I am here, just ask Me and I will reveal Myself to you in a very special way. I will do whatever it takes to prove My faithfulness to you. You can trust your heart in my care. I will not let you down as long as you look up.
Love,
Your Prince who will always be yours."

Wow! Did He ever answer! Praise You, Lord! I may be older, I may be in un-controllable circumstances, I may feel all alone, BUT...I have the God who loves me more than anyone in my life...and His love alone is good, un-failing, un-conditional, forever. Thank you, God! I have the greatest gift of all! This will be a good year!

P.S. Zooey Deschanel, (Jovie, from one of my favorite movies, Elf), also turned 30 today too!!!! :)