My internet has been down for awhile and still is but I had to sneak away somewhere to write. This past Saturday night I headed to the movies to do some research for Young Life. There is a new movie playing called, To Save A Life, and is a Christian film about teen's struggles. It is very good and one that I will take some of my High School friends to see. Anyways, when I left the theatre Satan randomly decided to attack me. Thoughts/lies flew in my head that I would never find a man who would love me right and I started entertaining them. I got in my car and sat there a moment under the dark, night sky, yet bright parking lot lights. When all of a sudden the brightest, largest & longest shooting star/meteor slowly shot across the sky! It took my breath away! I had 105.7 Christian radio on in the back ground and at the same time some man on there started reading Psalm 23-first in english, then followed in Hebrew. My life verse from Jesus! Right then and there I felt the Lord whisper to me, "My sweet child, only I will love you with a perfect love. Only I can pursue you perfectly and go to all stops to show you my love. Only I know exactly what you need and want. Only I." He had loved me so sweetly and knew me. I breathed a sigh of relief and just thanked Him over and over! I was at peace. He had overturned the lie with His truth for me and showered me with the only love that I need. The next day (yesterday) I headed to church to learn more about Genesis (what we are studying.) My pastor was talking about Abram and how he had to seperate from Lot, his secuirty, and look up to God in order to finally receive his inheritance from God (Genesis 12-14.) I felt God speaking to my heart to let go of my security, my "Lot," that I have been holding onto in this tough time, in order to receive my inheritance. I felt empowered. Then this morning (in my QT) God confirmed that it was time for me to move on. It felt painful but I knew that I needed to and said I was ready. That's when the final "nail in the coffin" came. I was confronted by my Lot and told that it was done with me. Pain shot through, but then I was instantly reminded of what God has been assuring me of over and over in this time. One, that as my life verse (Psalm 23) states, He is in fact my Shepherd and in Him I have everything I need. And two, just as He tested Simon in Luke 22:31&32, so I too am being tested. Will I really follow Him to death? Do I really love Him? Then He will allow Satan to attack/sift me in this time, but HE is praying for me, that my faith may not fail, and WHEN I turn back, I MUST strengthen my brothers. Yes! My faith will not fail! This season is HARD! It is hard to let go and move on. But I know that Jesus is holding my hand as we walk into this NEW chapter together. As my friend reminded me, I am standing in a more secure place right this moment than ever before! Thank you, Kristen! Friends, may we consider everything as rubbish that we may gain Christ and be found in Him! He is the Potter who knows what exactly will make this piece of clay look radiant!
P.S. I have a new addition to my Peanuts gallery now. Introducing Sally, my new cat! :) As previously blogged, I rescued a bunch of stray kittens from my garage this summer (at the very beginning of this hard season that I am now walking through.) Several died, a few were adopted, a few more escaped and I kept one...Sally. I am highly allergic to cats and was beginning to be bogged down from this season so I didn't even attempt to keep her. I nursed her to health and wanted to keep her close so gave her to my brother in law. He has had her for about 8 months now and recently called and said that he could no longer keep her. Without hesitation, I said that I would take her, but didn't know what I would do with her. I am animal obsessed! :) Anyways, I prayed that I would be able to keep her...that: I would miraculously have no allergies; she wouldn't try to eat my bird, Woodstock; she would settle down (after not much attention was shown her before so she was a bit wild); and that my dogs, Linus & Lucy, wouldn't try to eat her. :) Well, it has been 2 weeks now and all is well...praise the Lord! It truly is a miracle and I love this little girl! It's just like God, as Psalm 23 states, to restore our souls. To restore means: to recover, take you back to the place of captivity and give you a do-over. I rescued Sally at the beginning of this hard season and now I am getting her back, miraculously, as it is finally and slowly coming to an end-and God is wrapping a finishing bow on it! Thank you, God! Attached is also a water color painting of Linus & Lucy, that my dear friend, Aimee gave me for my birthday! :) I'm off now...Yl is back in full swing starting this week! God, help me through this new season please...and put a NEW song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to my God, that many will see and fear and put their trust in You-Psalm 40:3!!!