Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Since my last post, the compressor on my car AC has gone out and will cost $700 to repair (as well as other repairs), they forgot to re-bomb my flea infested apartment so I still have fleas (although I did the vaccate and cleaning hassle prior...for nothing), and I just found out that YL in my area is 1 month away from being in defecit due to donors not giving as promised. I feel so defeated! I know that those out there struggle too so I write all this in hopes to encourage you with some encouragement that I have received in this tough time. As previously mentioned, I had to spend the past few days at home and therefore was around my neices and nephew a lot. You can learn a lot from children. One evening, after giving Abi her bath, I was giving her lotion, brushing her hair and helping to dress her when I thought...God wants to take care of me just as an adult has to help take care of Abi...every detail. I just need to trust and remind myself that He is for me. And then I walked out into the kitchen to find Grace crying that she couldn't have dessert or watch one of her favorite shows. She is on much needed restriction right now and it is killing her. My sister was talking to her about starving her flesh and feeding her Spirit and is able to monitor her to help her do just as such. Without my sister, my neice would crumble. That too hit me. Right now, I need to trust Jesus and feed my Spirit, not my grumbling flesh. Without HIm, I would crumble. And in the meantime, it's OK to be bummed, but I must cry out to Him alone. So I am. Friends, I'm sure that Job (from the Bible) had no clue at the time why all the drama in his life. But that book in the Bible helps so many of us now and look at the ending. I hope to bring God glory in this and find a better ending soon! Life is complicated, but our God is faithful! Today I choose to stand, starve, praise and trust! :) Hope you do too! We are not forgotten!