I awoke this morning with my phone and computer off and ready to have some time with Jesus. It was a sweet, revealing time. I was filled with encouraging, healing TRUTH! Praise Jesus! Once my QT ended I was ready to share some of my thoughts on here. I proceeded to turn on my computer and go to my blog. I then saw 2 comments that needed to be moderated. One, from my good friend Tucker. A verse of truth! Another from a coward who wished to remain anonymous...a lie straight from the pit of hell! Of course I chose not to publish it. Lies do not deserve to be published. At first he/she decided to quote me from one of my last posts and this anonymous person's comment read as the following, "'I feel un-worthy, un-loveable, rejected, easily replaced, messed up, abandoned & ugly.' Ummmmmmm...you should after all the shit you pulled!" Wow! A week ago I would have let this comment define me, bring me down, destroy me. But not anymore! God is truth and when He speaks He speaks words of truth, affirmation, healing, encouragement. These words were not such! These words were straight from the pit of hell and from a cowards mouth! So if the person who wrote that is reading this, I want to say this to you...I am not bitter. I choose to forgive you. And you did not get me down. In fact, I feel very sorry for you. For you, my friend, must be lost. God will deal with you. I need not avenge myself. For I am His child and He hates to see one of His own wounded. May you get that yourself someday. I pray for you. Your lie did not penetrate through my truth from my God. Yes, I am a sinner, BUT I am saved by grace and that in fact is who I am!
Well, that first paragraph truly does sum up my life lately in this season. Satan is trying so very hard to destroy me. He is pulling out all the stops, not letting up and the battle has gotten very heated and hard for me daily! And yes, God is allowing it. Just as He did with Peter and Job. But I know that just as He did with Peter and Job, I will come through this victorious! For Satan is only after me b/c I am a threat to his kingdom. "But you are a shield around me, O Lord; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head. To the Lord I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill." Psalm 3:3&4. God is calling me to walk this journey alone with Him now, to discern truth from lies, to live on truth and not lies. He has pulled all my securities away and is testing me by allowing the enemy to through all his lies at me. Will I believe and put my identity in them (like I have always) or in God's truth. God alone is my security and who defines me! My journey is hard but I am not alone. God is for me! And I am growing. You see, God, my King, is pursuing me-Psalm 23:6. And He pursues with unfailing love. I am being captured finally by His love and His truth! As I learned in my bible study this morning...My presumptions (and others about me) are not worthy of becoming the foundation of my thought closet. That is pride and leads to horrible actions. Like Rachel in Genesis 30:1. Only God's view of me is worthy of becoming the foundation of my thought closet! I will no longer be dis-obedient by un-belief. I choose to believe God! For He is my Shepherd and always has His glory and my good in mind!
"But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's unfailing love for ever and ever." Psalm 52:8.